I don't recall ever having been in Alpine; I'd have to look at a couple of maps to jog my memory, but if I recall correctly, Alpine is up north in the Big Bend area. Down around Cleburne was more to my liking.
So I don't take the guy's comments about Alpine personally based on my having been a resident thereabouts. Still, it strikes me they must have a shortage of tall trees and short ropes for him not to be gone yet.
If I lived in Alpine, I'd gladly make it three.
Make that four.
Do you have a bulk rate, like perhaps for the entire DNC?