Married vicar is suspended over 'naked photograph'

A country vicar has been suspended after shocked parishioners reported that a naked picture of him had been posted on an internet dating website.

The picture allegedly shows Fr Bob Locke, 41, the Anglican vicar of Burnham-on-Crouch, Essex, and invites contact from women for sex.

The Bishop of Chelmsford, the Rt Rev John Gladwin, suspended the married clergyman while the "unsettling allegations" are investigated.

Church authorities decided they had to act after a woman who lives in the Burnham area, where Mr Locke became vicar at the 14th-century St Mary the Virgin church four years ago, reportedly saw the picture on the faceparty.com website.

Mr Locke will remain on full pay of £18,000 a year pending the outcome of the investigation which is being conducted by the Archdeacon of Harlow, the Ven Peter Taylor.

John Green, 64, a churchwarden, said: "We have been asked by the diocese to pray for the vicar's family and all members of the parish."

Mr Locke, who was ordained in 1992, and his wife Anne declined to comment yesterday.

If only he'd been looking for male dates online instead of female ones. Then he'd be Bishop material!

YES!!! Just wait though! The last word hasn't been written and it sounds like this guys "civil rights" may have been violated.

Seriously though, how do the Episcopalians start disciplining one of their own for any sexual deviancy? what is their basis?
And...who in the Vicar's congregation will admit to having found this guy's on line solicitation?

THE DIRTY VICAR SKETCH

Cut to two ladies taking tea in an Edwardian drawing room.

First Lady (Carol)
Have you seen Lady Windermere's new carriage, dear?
Second Lady (Caron Garden)
Absolutely enchanting!
First Lady
Isn't it!
Chivers the butler enters.

Chivers (Graham)
The new vicar to see you, m'lady.
First Lady
Ah, send him in, Chivers.
Chivers
Certainly, m'lady. (he goes)
Enter a Swiss mountaineer in Tyrolean hat, lederhosen, haversack, icepick, etc. Followed by two men in evening dress. They look round and exit.

First Lady
Now, how is your tea, dear? A little more water perhaps?
Second Lady
Thank you. It is delightful as it is.
Chivers
The Reverend Ronald Simms, the Dirty Vicar of St Michael's ... ooh!
Chivers is obviously goosed from behind by the Dirty Vicar.

Vicar (Terry J.)
Cor, what a lovely bit of stuff. I'd like to get my fingers around those knockers.
He pounces upon the second lady, throws her skirt over her head and pushes her over the back of the sofa, then rolls around on top of her.

First Lady
How do you find the vicarage?
The vicar stands up from behind the sofa, his shirt open and his hair awry; he reaches over and puts his hand down the first lady's front.

Vicar
I like tits!
First Lady
Oh vicar! Vicar!
The vicar suddenly pulls back and looks around him as if in the horror of dawning realisation.

Vicar
Oh my goodness. I do beg your pardon. How dreadful! The first day in my new parish, I completely ... so sorry!
First Lady
(adjusting her dress) Yes. Never mind, never mind. Chivers -- send Mary in with a new gown, will you?
The second lady struggles to her feet from behind the couch, completely disheveled. Her own gown completely ripped open.

Chivers
Certainly, m'lady.
Vicar
(to the second lady) I do beg your pardon ... I must sit down.
First Lady
As I was saying, how do you find the new vicarage?
They take their seats on the couch.

Vicar
Oh yes, certainly, yes indeed, I find the grounds delightful, and the servants most attentive and particularly the little serving maid with the great big knockers, and when she gets going...
He throws himself on the hostess across the tea table, knocking it over and they disappear over the back of the hostess's chair. Grunts etc. Enter Dickie applauding. Also, we hear audience applause.

Dickie (Eric)
Well, there we are, another year has been too soon alas ended and I think none more than myself can be happier at this time than I ... am.
The cast of the sketch stand in a line at the back, looking awkward and smiling. Fade out.

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