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Cold Turkey - After some bouts of panic, a family decides to kick the TV habit.
AISH ^ | Feb 2004 | Brian Blum

Posted on 02/16/2004 8:29:55 PM PST by yonif

My wife Jody and I had been out for the evening. Our usual babysitter couldn't make it, so we hired someone who we didn't know all that well.

What exactly transpired while we were away we may never know. But when we got home, the babysitter was upset. Apparently, she and 12-year-old Amir had gotten into disagreement over the TV. He wanted to watch. She said it was bedtime.

Now some babysitters may be bad. Some may even be true evil stepmothers-in-training. But there's a basic rule that enables the system to function. And that is: you don't hit the babysitter -- you listen to her.

My first inclination was to lay down some sort of punishment. I had just finished reading the kids the book "Ella Enchanted." Amir would make a fine scullery maid, I thought.

As I walked down to Amir's room, where I imagined him waiting in bed with dread anticipation, I still wasn't sure what I was going to do or say.

But I had a nagging feeling that the heavy handed approach stood a strong chance of backfiring. The goal here was to promote a lasting change in both TV and babysitting behavior.

There are eight stairs from the kitchen where I stood to the kids' floor. Somewhere on step six, I knew what I had to do: Listen. Just listen.

And somehow I did. I let him talk. He told me what happened. I didn't judge. And when I did speak, it was in empathetic terms.

Amir was flabbergasted. He had girded himself for the worst. And it hadn't come.

"Now Amir," I said at the end, "I want you to give some thought to how we can make this better, how we can make sure this kind of thing never happens again. We're going to have a family meeting in a few days and we'll talk about it then."

Then I kissed him goodnight and left.

Two days later, it was time for our weekly Family Meeting. Jody opened by asking all three kids if they knew the difference between a "right" and a "privilege." The concept was a little hazy, so I pulled out the Webster's Elementary Dictionary.

"A right is something to which one has a just claim, such as the right to freedom," I read aloud. "A privilege is a right or liberty granted as a favor or benefit especially to some and not to others. Now, how do you think we view TV in our house? As a right or a privilege?"

Ten-year-old Merav got it right away. "It's a right."

And what should it be?

"A privilege," she answered with enthusiasm.

Perhaps she didn't see where this might be going. Amir did, and he cringed a bit, but his resistance had already been broken by the conversation those two long nights before.

"So, do you think that maybe our family watches a bit too much television?" Jody asked coquettishly. "That we view it more as a right that can never be taken away?"

This time Amir jumped in. "Yes," he said, knowing that to not only be the right answer, but true. Now it was Merav's turn to look around the room uncomfortably.

"And do you think we spend enough time outside? Or playing with all the toys we have in the house?"

Five-year-old Aviv perked up at the mention of toys.

"Do you think maybe our family would function better if we watched less TV?"

Nods all around.

"Does anyone know the expression 'cold turkey?'" I asked.

You could see their minds picturing uncooked turkey on the kitchen counter.

I had done my research and traced the origin of "cold turkey." According to the website IdiomSite, the phrase describes the skin's reaction to heroin withdrawal. As an addict stops using the drug, blood is drawn toward the internal organs, thereby leaving the skin to resemble a cold, plucked turkey.

I left out the details of which drug we were talking about. But the metaphor was clear: we as a family had become hopelessly addicted to TV.

"I think the only way we're going to kick the TV habit is to go cold turkey," I said. "Not just a reduction from 10 hours this week to 7 hours next week to 3 hours to one. But completely stopping it."

"Completely?" Merav panicked for a moment.

"We can introduce it back in at some point for special treats. But no more automatic watching whenever you want or whenever you go home. I think we can turn TV from a 'right' into a 'privilege.' What do you guys think?"

To my amazement, they bought in. Willingly. Apparently they had realized the level of illness our family had descended to.

Since that point, the change has been remarkable. We've found toys and games that haven't been played with in years. Aviv has made riding a scooter his special passion. Amir picked up one of my favorite Sci-Fi novels and Merav is out playing even more often with her friends.

We didn't get rid of the tube and we're still plugged in to cable. We've already sat down as a family on several occasions to watch a movie as a Saturday night family activity. But the habit is well on its way to history. Jody and I might even be able to get out for an evening.

Now I wonder which babysitter we should hire this time...

Author Biography:
Brian Blum writes the syndicated column "This Normal Life" at http://www.brianblum.com. Email him at brianblum@mail.com.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: family; notv; tv
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1 posted on 02/16/2004 8:29:57 PM PST by yonif
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To: yonif
A household is so much better without a t.v.
2 posted on 02/16/2004 8:32:24 PM PST by Cinnamon Girl
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To: Cinnamon Girl
I turned off my cable tv two years ago, but kept the cable modem and cable phone service (Optimum on-line and Optimum phone). It takes a long time to detoxify, but my life is much better without the television.
3 posted on 02/16/2004 8:37:19 PM PST by FormerACLUmember (Man rises to greatness if greatness is expected of him)
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To: yonif
Good move.
4 posted on 02/16/2004 8:40:19 PM PST by Texas Eagle
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To: Cinnamon Girl
I always ask myself, did Jefferson attain the intellectual heights he did by watching TV? Did Washington achieve his moral character with the help of "Friends"? What about the Signers, Lee, Jackson? Did they have cable access? No? Then we don't need it either.

I'm not a total anti-TV snob. I use it for watching some news. For instance, I will watch election coverage, the major disasters, the war, and so forth. You have to see some things to make a judgement about them. But in general it can stay off. The kids will survive without it.

5 posted on 02/16/2004 8:40:54 PM PST by Capriole (Foi vainquera)
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To: yonif
I have had a TV a total of maybe two years in the last 35 years. The last time was in '98 for a short time.

I like it that way.

Raised kids without TV.

No one needs what's on it. At the very least it's terrible time waster. And what else do we have but a few precious years?
6 posted on 02/16/2004 8:44:38 PM PST by little jeremiah (everyone is entitled to their opinion, but everyone isn't entitled to be right.)
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To: FormerACLUmember
I would have to give up Fox News. Where would I hear the news then?
7 posted on 02/16/2004 8:44:52 PM PST by passionfruit (passionate about my politics, and from the land of fruits and nuts)
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To: Cinnamon Girl
I got rid of the cable a few months ago and we are down to rabbit ears on the little tv in my computer room and videos on the big tv.

Come summer when the weather is bad I'm moving the big tv downstairs to my bedroom with the DVD and rabbit ears for emergency viewing like when someone is sick in bed and the tvs disappear upstairs. Jigsaw puzzles and Mariner games on the radio will become the new family nightly ritual.
8 posted on 02/16/2004 8:45:11 PM PST by TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig ( I went to the gun show today and saw an Sharpton for President sticker on a truck. Seriously dude.)
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To: yonif
When I was a kid we were all hopelessly addicted to the tube. I come from the era of "My Favorite Martian" and "Combat" and "Bonanza"...

Sometime about 1976 I went "cold turkey" on TV and refused to watch it for almost ten years. I mean NO tube at all. None. Nada. Zilch. Zero. I started calling the TV the "mind control device" would walk out of any house or establishment where it was on.

Why? Even as a naive child I saw the efforts at mind and behaviour control that were leaking in to what was supposed to be entertainment as the LEFT took power and started to propagate their BS on the masses.

Nowdays thankfully there are alternatives to the big three and I can enjoy my History and Science related programming with some healthy doses of SG-1 and "Charmed" thrown in.

What happened when I turned off the tube for a decade? I discovered women work and what it was like to have a LIFE. I also stopped feeling guilty for being intelligent and white at the same time.

Guess it is time to turn it off again...

9 posted on 02/16/2004 8:47:00 PM PST by EUPHORIC (Right? Left? Read Ecclesiastes 10:2 for a definition. The Bible knows all about it!)
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To: yonif
I spent 7 years without a TV. I didn't miss a thing, except football.
10 posted on 02/16/2004 8:48:55 PM PST by thoughtomator ("What do I know? I'm just the President." - George W. Bush, Superbowl XXXVIII halftime statement)
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To: yonif
My parents got rid of our old B&W TV when I was 5 or 6 years old. I read a lot and never really missed the boob tube. I did buy a TV 23 years later, though.
11 posted on 02/16/2004 8:49:19 PM PST by FoxInSocks
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To: Cinnamon Girl; FormerACLUmember
Hey watch this flash animation on liberty

its amazingly simple but effective:

http://www.jonathangullible.com/mmedia/PhilosophyOfLiberty-english_music.swf

12 posted on 02/16/2004 8:49:40 PM PST by GeronL (www.ArmorforCongress.com ............... Support a FReeper for Congress)
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To: yonif
TV is a blight on human intelligence.

That being said, why, exactly, does a 12 year old need a babysitter?!
13 posted on 02/16/2004 8:49:59 PM PST by ECM
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To: FormerACLUmember
I have not had cable TV for over a decade.
But I also do not have a "family vote" including the ignorant views of innocent children, to decide if that is the "right choice" for "our" household.
Sheesh, grow up and be the grown-up!
Children are depending on you!
14 posted on 02/16/2004 8:51:57 PM PST by sarasmom (Hanoi Jane admires John F*ing Kerry's military service in Vietnam=things that make you go hmmmm)
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To: little jeremiah; passionfruit
Um. passionfruit. you could get your news right here =o)

LJ- Watch this flash animation about liberty. Its a pretty simple explanation on what liberty means...:

http://www.jonathangullible.com/mmedia/PhilosophyOfLiberty-english_music.swf

15 posted on 02/16/2004 8:52:19 PM PST by GeronL (www.ArmorforCongress.com ............... Support a FReeper for Congress)
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To: yonif
We're much happier without TV. We read more, talk more, and do things together as a family.

We still have the set for select DVDs and videos, but those are limited and controlled.

I get all my news from radio and Internet. I don't need any tragedy TV sensationalism, not even from Fox.

Regarding this article: Did the 12-year-old son really need a babysitter? And did he hit her? And the Dad didn't come down on him like a load of bricks?
16 posted on 02/16/2004 8:52:22 PM PST by Choose Ye This Day (Then: "Ask not what your country can do for you" Now: "You sit down. You had your say.")
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To: ECM
Because the county CPS guidelines say:

11 to 12 years:
May be left alone for up to 3 hours but not late at night or in circumstances requiring inappropriate responsibility.
17 posted on 02/16/2004 8:52:58 PM PST by FoxInSocks
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To: FoxInSocks
My God...my parents would have been locked up for years...that's ridiculous.
18 posted on 02/16/2004 8:55:07 PM PST by ECM
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To: GeronL
I have wretchedly slow dialup. It would take me forever to download animation. Can you give me a short synopsis or clue?
19 posted on 02/16/2004 8:55:33 PM PST by little jeremiah (everyone is entitled to their opinion, but everyone isn't entitled to be right.)
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To: yonif
OK, I can walk away from TV, but do not try to take Free Republic away from me.

You've posted a total of 89 threads and 3,614 replies.

This one makes 3,615.

20 posted on 02/16/2004 8:55:57 PM PST by FreedomCalls (It's the "Statue of Liberty," not the "Statue of Security.")
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