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Are You a Democrat, Republican or a Texan? Take this quick test.

Posted on 02/13/2004 3:14:28 PM PST by Mean Daddy

Are You a Democrat, Republican or Texan?

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You're carrying a Smith & Wesson revolver and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question. Does the man look poor or oppressed? What drove him to the level of desperation he feels now, driving him to FEEL that he has to take from others to make himself FEEL better? What might I have done that ever OFFENDED him? Could I apologize to him first, for ever having done something that might have ever offended him, to first see if that appeases him? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack or make him feel VICTIMIZED? What kind of childhood did he have? Was he an underprivileged child, having less than the rest of the kids growing up, his age, had? Could we have created some PROGRAM that would have made him FEEL; more included as a member of society, so that he would not FEEL as though this is his only answer? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What do the Muslims think? What does the WORLD COMMUNITY think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? Could I just CARRY the gun without any bullets, and just show it to him, so that he would know that I have one, but not subject my family to the circumstances involved in really carrying a LOADED weapon? Could I just TELL him that I have a gun, and hope that he understands, and changes his mind? What does the law say about this situation? Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun in the first place, and what kind of message does this send to society and my children and the Muslim community? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If he were to kill just me, or just one of my children, would tha! t be eno ugh to make him FEEL better? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me to death? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends and the World Community for a few years to try to come up with a PROGRAM to deal with these issues. Maybe we need to consult the Australians, about how well their NO GUNS policy has helped to keep the guns out of the hands of their criminals, who we all know followed their law, that required them to turn in all of their guns? I know... let's talk to Mr. and Mrs. Brady, to see what they think we could do. After all, Mr. Brady is doing better since he took the bullet for President Reagan, and I know he FEELS better now that his assailant, John Hinkley, is going to be able to have unsupervised, overnight visits with his family now. This must make Mr. Hinkley FEEL better now, and MUCH less of a VICTIM. Maybe Mrs. Brady has some good ideas. After all, her husband isn't a COMPLETE vegetable. I know, let's just follow her lead, and outlaw ALL guns... INCLUDING those carried by the Police (and the Secret Service), because after all, they only make the downtrodden FEEL more UNCOMFORTABLE and victimized by knowing we have them to protect ourselves. Yea. That's it. The Brits and the Australians have it. Just completely do away with all weapons. That way, when the man with the huge knife (or whatever) comes around the corner, with me and my family in his sights, he won't feel so much like a VICTIM that he feels he has to raise his knife and rob (and/or kill) me and my family. Better yet, he won't be carrying the knife now, because he knows that all weapons have been outlawed, and he doesn't want to break the law. And now, he will KNOW that I don't have a weapon, and he will be far more understanding now that I am TOTALLY defenseless, and he will just use his better judgment, and come to the decision that it just wouldn't be right to rob! or kill an unarmed citizen and his family, and will just choose to pass us on by. Yea... that's it.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! ... click click click...


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: banglist
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To: rllngrk33
GUN ISSUES: DemocRAT, Republican, and Texans

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

DemocRAT's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...
(sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
21 posted on 02/13/2004 4:50:59 PM PST by giznort
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To: ASA Vet
Do you own a Freedom Arms?
22 posted on 02/13/2004 4:53:50 PM PST by Shooter 2.5 (Don't punch holes in the lifeboat)
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To: Eaker
Them Texas kids just ain't right....

Youngergunner has no patience with stationary targets.

23 posted on 02/13/2004 5:01:39 PM PST by humblegunner
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To: Mean Daddy; All
I'm not sure...does, "Blow the F _ _ _ _ r away!" mean I'm a Republican or Texan...or ....both???

It would be nice to be an honorary Texan!

NordP

24 posted on 02/13/2004 5:04:55 PM PST by NordP (While our nation is at war w/ worldwide terrorism, the democrat party is at war w/ the President.)
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To: Eaker
No resemblance.



25 posted on 02/13/2004 5:07:47 PM PST by humblegunner
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To: humblegunner
No resemblance.

Yep ......... He has a pod.

I now have one too.

Thanks bro'!!

26 posted on 02/13/2004 5:10:36 PM PST by Eaker (Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. - Lazarus Long)
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To: frossca
Either that or a post-Brady clip.
27 posted on 02/13/2004 5:14:10 PM PST by Proud_texan
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To: NordP
It would be nice to be an honorary Texan!

Send the H.A.T. Chapter Houston Area Texans a contribution and we will see what we can do.

;<)

Take care and stay safe NordP!!!

28 posted on 02/13/2004 5:15:51 PM PST by Eaker (Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. - Lazarus Long)
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To: frossca
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Where did I put my bow?

Tennessee Native and GOP member.

29 posted on 02/13/2004 5:27:07 PM PST by Volunteer (Just so you know, I am ashamed the Dixie Chicks make records in Nashville.)
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To: Mean Daddy
I really do hate to be such a spoil sport but you left out the best part of the story:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!... click click click...

Daughter: Look, Pa! I think he just moved!

Pa: Are you sure?

Son: Best to be sure, Pa. Don't take any chances!

Pa, ( looks at wife and says, ) "Darlin? Hand me the other clip."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!... click click click...
30 posted on 02/13/2004 5:43:16 PM PST by El Gran Salseron (It translates as the Great, Big Dancer, nothing more. :-))
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To: ASA Vet
Now, now. The .50 AE has a rebated rim, and the picture you posted is not of the .50 AE. Looks like .480 Ruger, .475 Linebaugh, or .454 Casull.
31 posted on 02/13/2004 5:43:19 PM PST by Renfield
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To: Mean Daddy
Texan. Definately Texan.

I'd rather be tried by 12 than carried by 6.

I'd have a better chance on the 12.

Oh, some of us Texans carry 6-shot revolvers, some of us carry mult-shot semi-automatics.

It's up to the criminals to guess if the sweet little old lady they want to rob and defile is packing a .45, a .38, and so on.

32 posted on 02/13/2004 5:49:17 PM PST by LibKill (My sigil: Two crossed, dead, Frenchmen emblazoned on a mound of dead Frenchmen.)
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To: humblegunner
I printed this out a while ago and hung it on the refrigerator. I get a good laugh everytime I open it.
33 posted on 02/13/2004 5:49:23 PM PST by mad stork
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To: ASA Vet
5 shot .50 AE

With one of those ultra-magnum guns, and proper shot placement, the conversation would be as follows:

BOOM!

Nothing follows except the inevitable paperwork and lawyer-isms.

34 posted on 02/13/2004 5:53:55 PM PST by LibKill (My sigil: Two crossed, dead, Frenchmen emblazoned on a mound of dead Frenchmen.)
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To: nsidetrk
Proud to be a Texas Republican.

ditto!!!!!!!!!!!!!

35 posted on 02/13/2004 5:58:00 PM PST by lonestar (Don't mess with Texans)
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To: Mean Daddy
Report gun abuse: Not cleaning after the last "click" is not to be tolerated!
36 posted on 02/13/2004 6:09:01 PM PST by ApplegateRanch (If God didn't want a criminal hanging from every tree, He wouldn't have created so much rope.)
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To: humblegunner
Excuse me? Why didn't the daughter or son shoot him? lol
37 posted on 02/13/2004 6:47:08 PM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: Eaker
Eaker - I just want to know one thing: Could your children possibly look any more like you? Did your wife contribute ANY DNA to those two? lol
38 posted on 02/13/2004 6:49:07 PM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: 76834
"Until I can afford it I guess I will have to make by with my old S&W Model 19 .357"

No finer made than the wife's Mod. 19. Well, maybe after my beat up old (1943 Remington Rand) 1911A1 .45 ACP which is the greatest close up battle weapon ever, bar none.
39 posted on 02/13/2004 6:51:08 PM PST by Ursus arctos horribilis ("It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!" Emiliano Zapata 1879-1919)
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To: Mean Daddy
OK, we've got the classic oxymoron here. What's wrong with this premise: "expert shot" plus "democrat?"

Yes!!! You win 1000 points!!! That is not possible in this quantum universe. Even Schrodenger's cat understands that.

40 posted on 02/13/2004 6:58:13 PM PST by Phsstpok (often wrong, but never in doubt)
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