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Thank you for calling Darwin Central! Please choose from one of the following options:

To tell us that evolution is "just a theory," press 1.
To tell us there's no evidence of transitional species, press 2.
To tell us the odds against evolution are "proof" that it's impossible, press 3.
To tell us that we're all commies, nazis, or atheists, press 4.
To tell us that evolution is a faith-based religion or a Satanic plot, press 5.
To tell us that we have a naturalistic, materialistic worldview, press 6.
To tell us about Piltdown Man, press 7.
To recite from the book of Genesis, press 8.
To read us something from a Jack Chick comic, press 9.
To tell us you accept micro evolution, but not macro evolution, press 0.
To tell us we can't prove the origin of life, press the pound sign.
To speak to a live evolutionist, please stay on the line.

To listen to these choices again, hang up and redial. And thank you for calling Darwin Central.