To: FlyLow
Another interesting Texas Fact:
Phil Sheridan claimed that if he owned Hell and Texas, he'd rent out Texas and live in Hell.
To: You Dirty Rats
Phil Sheridan claimed that if he owned Hell and Texas, he'd rent out Texas and live in Hell. I'm sure there are a few Texans that believe thats right where old Phil ended..... ;)
7 posted on
02/10/2004 2:43:08 PM PST by
Texican72
To: You Dirty Rats
....."he'd rent out Texas and live in Hell."I'll drink to that. LBJ was from Texas and sent me through Basic Combat Training at Fort Bliss, Texas in the Spring of 1967. I'd rather be from Oklahoma, than Texas.
12 posted on
02/10/2004 2:53:53 PM PST by
elbucko
(Men run the world because they don't do their nails.)
To: You Dirty Rats
I sit on the toilet
my cheeks a-flexin',
about to give birth
to another texan.
- anonymous
14 posted on
02/10/2004 2:55:11 PM PST by
Schattie
(-censored-)
To: You Dirty Rats
Hell In Texas
THE DEVIL, we're told, in hell was chained,
And a thousand years he there remained,
And he never complained, nor did he groan,
But determined to start a hell of his own
Where he could torment the souls of men
Without being chained to a prison pen.
So he asked the Lord if He had on hand
Anything left when He made the land.
Tle Lord said, 'Yes, I had plenty on hand,
But I left it down on the Rio Grand
The fact is, old boy, the stuff is so poor,
I don't think you could use it in hell any more."
But the devil went down to look at the truck,
And said if it came as a gift, he was stuck;
For after examining it careful and well
He concluded the place was too dry for hell.
So in order to get it off His hands
God promised the devil to water the lands.
For he had some water, or rather some dregs,
A regular cathartic that smelt like bad eggs.
Hence the deal was closed and the deed was given,
And the Lord went back to His place in Heaven.
And the devil said, 'I have all that is needed
To make a good hell," and thus he succeeded.
He began to put thorns on all the trees,
And he mixed the sand with millions of fleas,
He scattered tarantulas along all the roads,
Put thorns on the cacti and homs on the toads;
He lengthened the homs of the Texas steers
And put an addition on jack rabbits' ears.
He put little devils in the broncho steed
And poisoned the feet of the centipede.
The rattlesnake bites you, the scorpion stings,
The mosquito delights you by buzzing his wings.
The sand burrs prevail, so do the ants,
And those that sit down need half soles on their pants.
The devil then said that throughout the land
He'd manage to keep up the devil's own brand,
And all would be mavericks unless they bore
Tle marks of scratches and bites by the score.
The heat in the summer is a hundred and ten,
Too hot for the devil and too hot for men.
Tle wild boar roams through the black chaparral,
It's a hell of a place be has for a hell;
Tle red pepper grows by the bank of the brook,
The Mexicans use it in all that they cook.
Just dine with a Greaser and then you will shout,
"I've a hell on the inside as well as without."
Unknown Author
38 posted on
02/10/2004 3:10:15 PM PST by
HuntsvilleTxVeteran
(A little knowledge is dangerous.-- I live dangerously::))
To: You Dirty Rats
Who is Phil Sheridan?
To: You Dirty Rats
Phil Sheridan was a stupid yankee. Too bad so many of his countrymen ended up down here.
57 posted on
02/10/2004 3:23:05 PM PST by
HoustonCurmudgeon
(PEACE - Through Superior Firepower)
To: You Dirty Rats
We also have a unique rat called the Gulf Coast kangaroo rat...and it has five-toes. Most of them have four.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson