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Another bit of advice for military wives - I saw this often in the Marine Corps. Many of you met your partner in a small twon or in suburbia. While he's been away, you've taken on alot of responsibility for bills, kids, etc. that he may not fully appreciate. I use the term "appreciate" in the sense that many of you have become much more "independent". He's not going to immediately recognize that you are fully capable of handling jobs you once left to him (like tuning up the car or fixing the plumbing).

Go easy on him for a few months. Don't go crazy when he expects the relationship to exist on standards and rules that became outdated 6 months ago.

Thanks, Fenris6.
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8 Returning soldiers warned about stress ~ Stars and Stripes | 2/07/04 | Rick Scavetta

Fenris, Rags, thanks to both of you for the posts, and for the thread.

We've had issues like this pop up several times, when Guardsmen came back from The Sandbox after a year.

The Family Readiness Groups have been rocks of support for the folks back here, but things usually fall into one of two categories:

- The spouses/families find hidden confidence and strength while the soldier's been gone, and that creates tension; or

- The families collapse in the absence of the troop, and picking up the pieces makes more damage.

I'd add this tidbit, too: not only watch the returning soldier, but the families as well. They're trying to bring a loved one back into the fold, and it'll either be better or worse - but it'll never be the same.