The Daily DUh: The Universal Democratic Underground Thread - 02/07/04 (OK'd by Jim)

IMAO Blog ^ | February 04, 2004 | Frank J

[visagoth]

The Universal Democratic Underground Thread

I don't think there is a single blog out there I read that hasn't at least once linked to Democratic Underground's Forum. The place is like a train wreck of human thought; you just can't help but gawk at their twisted logic and wild-eyed conspiracy theories. I've even ended up becoming addicted to the site; anytime there is breaking news, I think, "I wonder what the nuts are saying about this," and head straight for DU. It’s like a daily freak show. Yet, I've begun to tire of it, and I realized why. In the end, it's really just the same thing over and over. After careful analysis (two minutes thought), I think I broke down all the variance of opinion you'll ever see on DU and put into one imitated thread. They will often go on longer than this, but then it's a lot of the same posts being made over and over by other people.

Well, without further ado, here is the...

UNIVERSAL DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND THREAD

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muck4d00

[News Headline]

[Excerpt of article about military issue, political issue, man-made event, natural occurence, or... well... anything followed by link to entire article]

Looks suspicious to me.

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[Index of response titles]

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8lame8ush

1. Obvious ploy

It's obvious that Karl Rove is behind this. How this happened on [whatever the date is] is just too convenient in timing, especially considering that [Bush's poll number's are up/Bush's poll numbers are down/Bush's poll numbers are neutral/it's raining in Antigua].

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Th!nkH3sFunny

2. Treat for Bush*

I bet Karl Rove is giving Chimpy a banana over this one.

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muck4d00

3. LOL!

Though your humor was blunt and inept, I will praise you for it, Th!nkH3sFunny, and pretend I laughed since it goes along with my own prejudices.

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halfempty

4. Nothing we can do

This just make me feel so depressed. There is nothing Bush* and the neo-cons won't do to keep power and wage war. Remember, these are the same people who rigged an election, killed Carnahan and Wellstone, and stole my bong. They're going to steal the election again with the "liberal media" helping them all the way. Then they'll plunge the world into death and chaos and I'll never be able to get another bong.

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halffull

5. This will sink Bush*

I disagree, halfempty, this is exactly what is going to make people realize that Bush* really is like Hitler… and then everyone will turn against him… and then true progressives will get in office… and then peace will be had in the world… and then gumdrops will fall from the sky… and then unicorns will roam the land once again.

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M3sn00ty

6. We smart

You may be right, halffull, but remember that we, the progressives of DU, are much smarter than everyone else. We have to carefully move all others to our viewpoints because most still don't understand [convoluted conspiracy theory no one understands].

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halffull

7. At least we have debate

It's great at least that we talk about things like this here, and don't block out views we don't like such as the Freepers and Repugs do.

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Name removed

8. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules and better conform to GroupThink™.

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Imune2Irony

9. Repugs are nazis

This all just goes along with the Bush*'s and the Repugs' nazi mentality. The only way we can preserve liberty is to round up the Repugs and put them in ovens.

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N3wGuy

10. My own 2 cents

Ooh! Ooh! I'm a monkey!

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muck4d00

11, Back to the main point

Imune2Irony and N3wGuy makes some great points, but I just hope everyone keeps in mind how [what was mentioned in the original article] can really be used against us. I bet even the Zionists and the Christians are all cheering about this.

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AFewM4rblesL3ft

12. Careful

Watch how you phrase things. Let's try not to get labeled anti-Semitic and anti-Christian again.

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4sylum3scapee

13. Don't be dumb

I wouldn't worry about offending Jews or Christians. If you've been paying attention to all that going on, especially [a weather occurrence that unconvinced Democrats], it's obvious that GOD IS BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY HALIBURTON!

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muck4d00

14. Exactly

If a glowing angel approaches you or a burning bush starts talking to you, DON'T LISTEN TO IT BECAUSE IT IS PURE PRO-BUSH PROPAGANDA!

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4sylum3scapee

15. Beware

Holy Spirit = Goebbels

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Th!nkH3sFunny

16. Wouldn't that be great

I wish someone would burn Bush*.

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Moderator

17. Locking

Thread is being locked to keep nuttiness evenly spread throughout the forum.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation,
DU moderator

[visagoth]

Click the source and read the comments too. I laughed my butt off reading this blog.

[Mark]

No DU on FR according to Jim.

[areafiftyone]

I totally agree with you but this thread will probably be deleted because the rules are no DU on Free Republic. Don't take it personally though! Its just the rules and we all have to follow them.

[xJones]

It's a bad parody. The words have all been spell-checked and there isn't one f-word.

[prion]

THIS ISN'T FROM DU. IT'S A PARODY! Sheesh!

[joonbug]

Listen to the Dems and one would think Karl Rove is Superman. He is doing this, responsible for that, etc.

[areafiftyone]

LOL How right you are! Every sentence out of their mouths ends with a curse word!

[EllaMinnow]

It's not DU, it's satire DU. Very realistic satire at that.

[upchuck]

This isn't DU, it's a DU parody, and a damn fine one at that!!

Kudos and a big BUMP!!

[MegaSilver]

It's not DU, it's satire DU. Very realistic satire at that.

I rarely read the DU (I don't have the money to buy a new monitor if I smash mine out), but from what I've seen of it, this article is hardly satire.

[LA Conservative]

So, according to the DU rules, no one who holds conservative values is allowed, and oh yeah, no bigotry.

Orwell lives!

[Hardastarboard]

Boy, it sure does look like a DU thread, doesn't it? That's why some of our compadres were fooled (I hope).

[11th Earl of Mar]

I have gotten banned twice at DU-land.

And NEVER did I insult or personally attack anyone.

I simply would question certain arguments. And leave my opinion unsaid.

But the mods at DU are even more strict than the FR Mods. [If you can believe that!]

[11th Earl of Mar]

there isn't one f-word.

I got a thread locked over there because I dared to put "WTH" in the title. ["We cannot allow cursing at DU."]

But DUers were free to call me a "f*#king Moonie" because I posted an article from the Washington Times.

GO figure.

[jmstein7]

What does * mean?

[Professional Engineer]

I rarely read the DU (I don't have the money to buy a new monitor if I smash mine out), but from what I've seen of it, this article is hardly satire.

ROFLMAO I've looked a couple of times, but the thread structure, not to mention the content, is completely resistant to being read.

[Darksheare]

Just clicked on the link to the DUh rules, and got this:

Web Site Not Responding
The web site you have requested may be experiencing technical difficulties due to a busy or broken server.

Please try again by clicking the Reload icon on your navigation bar or, if that doesn't work, you may want to return to the site at a later time.

502 Connection Hangup

[11th Earl of Mar]

* is what the DUmmies use in place of, or in conjunction with, Bush's name.

I don't know if it is to help them search for stories easier [Search "*"] or because they are too immature/intimidated to use George Bush's name.

BTW, YOU HAVE TO PAY THEM MONEY TO SEARCH THEIR ARCHIVES.

I guess capitalism has even reached the socialists.

[mabelkitty]

This is great - Here's on to add:

ABB - Remember - your principles are no longer necessary this election. Do not vote for anybody but John Kerry, as he is the candidate with the most money, I mean electibility.

[NYCVirago]

There are a few things missing in this parody: no mentions of Michael Moore, Al Franken, or Noam Chomsky, nobody called Bush a drunk or cokehead, and nobody accused the media of being right-wing!