Replies

"There is a difference between heterosexuals dating until they find an acceptable long-term partner, and short-term gay liasons."

Okay, but I don't really see it. A lot of heterosexuals I know date and sleep around in very short "relationships," and a lot of gay people I know date and sleep around in very short "relationships." Some of each end up settling down with a partner.

"Men and women enter into long-term relationships even without the benefit of marriage."

Certainly. That would apply to both gay and straight men and women.

"long-term relationships constitute the majority of adult male-female relationships."

I'm not so sure about that. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that at any given time, more straight adults are in long-term relationship than are in short-term relationships. However, I think that the overall number of short relationships for the average individual is much larger than the overall number of long ones.

"On the other hand, despite the fact that long-term gay relationships do exist, they are in the minority."

That may well be. My point is that we don't have good data documenting the nature (or causes) of this discrepancy. There are a lot of problems with the study that was cited.

Okay, but I don't really see it. A lot of heterosexuals I know date and sleep around in very short "relationships," and a lot of gay people I know date and sleep around in very short "relationships." Some of each end up settling down with a partner.

Well, despite that you've stretched the definition of relationship to basically include all encounters, the "some of each" is the deal breaker. "Some" for straights, is actually "most", and "some" for gays is just that, "some". The gay long-term relationships (for gay men) are also less likely to be monogamous.

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that at any given time, more straight adults are in long-term relationship than are in short-term relationships.

Well, you restated what I said (long-term relationships constitute the majority of adult male-female relationships). In 2002, 52% of all people over the age of 15 were married.

"However, I think that the overall number of short relationships for the average individual is much larger than the overall number of long ones"

A woman dates, let's say, 6 different men in the span of time from high school til age 26. Those relationships could be a few dates, or a couple of years courtship. Anyway, guy number six hangs in there, and they get married. They stay married (and eventualy die).
So, duh, she's had more short term relationships than long term.

The real question though, is how do we see marrige-why do people get married, and why are/should there be benefits to that special relationship.
The basic answer, is family. There are legal ties and benefits (and liabilities), because marriage is not just 2 people shacking up for convenience. Marriage is a legal and moral lifetime commitment.