Tinseltown Tizzy: Why Won't America Watch Our Awful Movies?

Newsmax ^ | 2/2/04 | Carl Limbacher

[texasbluebell]

I knew there was a reason I don't like him or his rotten movies.

[MinuteGal]

The last movie I saw in a theater was "Son of the Sheik"...... or was it "The Birth of a Nation"???? All I remember is I sat behind the organist who was chainsmoking while pounding out the music under the screen.

Well, of course I'm kidding, I'm not THAT old. But why haven't I seen more than 4 or 5 movies in the past decade?

Because I live in a time warp of a happier day. And I'm not ashamed of it.

I don't go to the show today because I want something for my money and I want to be really excited about a trip to the movie house.

I want to see a double feature, and then News of the Day, then a short subject, then a cartoon, then an episode of Flash Gordon and the Mud People, and then a preview of coming attractions. Damn right I do!

I want time to go to the lobby between films to get my pop corn, Black Crows and Holloway Sucker without writing a check. I want to be escorted back to my seat by a pimply-faced kid showing me the way with a flashlight.

I want to see real movies, not elongated episodes of mindless TV yuppie series.

I want to be able to sit with a friend or family member without cringing in embarassment at the obligatory sex gyration scene in every film.

I want to see history, foreign lands, timeless tales and stories with charismatic actors and actresses who are handsome and beautiful and who have combed hair they don't grab every 20 seconds to keep it out of their eyes, and who don't deliver their lines through their noses.

I want the movie moguls to give paying customers what the customers want, not what they want to shove down our throats.

But I can't get what I want in today's Tivolis. I can't even get a Tivoli. They're all Cinemas 1, 2, 3 and 4.

However, since I'm the greatest movie fan that ever lived, I can pretty much reproduce all that I love in my own frontroom with a VCR, DVD, and my buddy, Orville Redenbacher.

I predict that some if not a lot of this bountiful movie pleasure and enchantment will return some day thanks to some genius entrepeneur. Why? Because it will have to....or films will play to empty houses.

That's the happy day I'll go back to the movies. I'll spend Saturday afternoons in the Lido downtown. I'll stay for two complete double feature cycles. I'll have time to use the washroom with the crystal chandelier on the ceiling.

Then, on the way home, I'll park my bike and stop for a chocolate soda with two wafers on the doily.

Let me know when to come back, Mr. De Mille, just let me know.

Leni

[breakem]

May wait for TiVo on Lost.

[breakem]

I heard director Jackson was interested in a story on the Hobbitts. Is that the book you're referring to?

[breakem]

Ouch!

[breakem]

Are all mideastern musicians with the bad guys. Sometime, it's just the way we look at it, but of course that's the point. Best wishes.

[breakem]

I'm in southwest Riverside Co, CA $6 matinee.

[Pharmboy]

Most interesting observation.

[pbear8]

Ash Wednesday, February 25

[highlander_UW]

I stay away because I can't stand any of the actors/actresses (other than Mel Gibson). They are all a bunch of loud-mouthed liberals.

Although I wouldn't go as far as to say I can't stand "any", I'm not interested in watching a movie during which I have to somehow put out of my mind there denigration of our nation and values and at the same time put money into their pockets. Sorry, books are more interesting then movies, and the whiny, America-hating, hypocritical loud-mouthed liberals can just sell their trash to the 30% or so dimocrat faithful.

[Big Horn]

I haven't gone to a movie since 1982 when I was an extra in "Endangered Species".