Mark Steyn: Knowns, unknowns and the Ketchup Kid

The Telegraph (U.K.) ^ | 01/27/04 | Mark Steyn

[woofer]

Someone confronted me last night about this poll showing Kerry beating Bush by 3 points, wanted my take on it, and I said this poll is irrelevant. They then said "Why?"

I would have told him it was a New Hampshire poll.

Something Newsweak and the media didn't tell ya.

[Common Tator]

Malone's take on the Democratic and Republican Strategies.

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[AmishDude]

Well, the worst thing about Mrs. Heinz-Kerry is that she's weird. Just weird. We heard about this the first time Kerry got the media anal exam. Then it was the Dean exam. If Kerry is the nominee then he'll get the exam again.

Of course, we all know that the African American leaders won't make a big deal of it.

[MeekOneGOP]

I just found out a little bit ago that these morons in New Hampshire won't vote until midnight tonight?

That leaves me to check FR first thing in the morning to see which moron is crowned there !

If it sounds a bit crass to reduce the whole business to Hit Parade rankings, well, don't blame me. After spending the best part of a year listening to the Democrats' strolling minstrels strumming their way round the White Mountains, I'm staggered by how little any of them have to say. If you go to a Kerry rally – something of an oxymoron, but let that pass – the senator's stump speech is a karaoke tape of floppo populist boilerplate. If he'd downloaded it for free from the internet, that'd be one thing. Instead, he paid a small fortune to hotshot consultant Bob Shrum, who promptly faxed over the same old generic guff he keeps in the freezer: "I (insert name here) will never stop fighting for ordinary people against the powerful interests that stand in your way."

This shtick worked so well for Shrum's previous clients - President Dick Gephardt (1988), President Bob Kerrey (1992), President Al Gore (2000) and President Insert Namehere (2008) that he evidently sees no reason why it shouldn't elect a fifth president this time round. Throw in a few mandatory sneering references to Enron, Halliburton and Attorney-General John Ashcroft plus a handful of local hard-luck stories of doubtful general application – "47-year-old Arlene Claxton of Hooksett worked 20 years to build up her hairdressing business only to contract a rare skin disease from a conditioner manufactured overseas by corporations George W Bush has given tax breaks to in order to export American jobs abroad to jurisdictions lacking environmental safeguards thanks to a sweetheart deal negotiated by a lobbyist for Halliburton and then learnt that her health insurer wouldn't cover the cost of treatment because etc etc."

[The Raven]

[Cautor]

Of course, we all know that the African American leaders won't make a big deal of it.

I agree. Still, both Kerry and his run-off-at-the-mouth wife are cold fish, not the kind to excite the black Baptist church crowds themselves. And if they knew Ms. Ketchup kid was a member of the white African ruling class, I doubt that would do much to help.

[hosepipe]

[ I wonder how all the African-Amerians will take to a former white African colonial as the first lady? Odd the press hasn't made anything of her origins. ]

Thank God Al Sharpton has'nt been emailed this info!.
(wink...wink)

[RightWingMama]

"47-year-old Arlene Claxton of Hooksett worked 20 years to build up her hairdressing business only to contract a rare skin disease from a conditioner manufactured overseas by corporations George W Bush has given tax breaks to in order to export American jobs abroad to jurisdictions lacking environmental safeguards thanks to a sweetheart deal negotiated by a lobbyist for Halliburton and then learnt that her health insurer wouldn't cover the cost of treatment because etc etc."

ROTFLMAO

[Standing Wolf]

Big tempest, small tea pot. America isn't going to elect a leftist extremist.

[Cautor]

Thank God Al Sharpton has'nt been emailed this info!.

That would be a shame wouldn't it...wink, wink. OTOH, the Rev. is probably busy pondering who he will appoint as the next head of the IMF, CFR, WB, or was it the Fed?

[ZOOKER]

When the unknown becomes known, his numbers slide and the media and the Dems go off in search of a new white knight.

The people seem to want it that way -- an unsullied candidate, even if they know nothing about him.

It wouldn't surprise me to see a front-running 'rat make a quick departure from the field, maybe even feet-first. Suddenly, from nowhere, a new front-runner and not enough time for opposition research. The Lautenberg gambit, redux.

...even Hillary can run in later ballots taken at the convention. Is this so?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[PoisedWoman]

Ms. Ketchup kid was born in Mozambique, the daughter of a Portuguese doctor.

What's her maiden name? I'd like to check out her mother, who is/was, as I recall, Jewish. With Arabs here uniting in an anyone-but-bush election push, this could be a very interesting tidbit.

[independentmind]

Keep it up. Kerry the Ketchup Kid. It's catchy!
!

[Cautor]

What's her maiden name?

Interesting question, but I didn't dig that far. We could probably Google it out. And your point is an interesting one as well.

[maica]

Instead, he paid a small fortune to hotshot consultant Bob Shrum, who promptly faxed over the same old generic guff he keeps in the freezer: "I (insert name here) will never stop fighting for ordinary people against the powerful interests that stand in your way."

This shtick worked so well for Shrum's previous clients - President Dick Gephardt (1988), President Bob Kerrey (1992), President Al Gore (2000) and President Insert Namehere (2008) that he evidently sees no reason why it shouldn't elect a fifth president this time round.

******

The same lines worked really well for Kathleen Kennedy Townsend in Maryland last year. Bob Shrum is taking money under false pretenses, if he doesn't come up with a few new lines.

Why do democrats think that 'fighting' republicans is OK, but fighting terrorists is not? (Rhetorical question only!)

[lasereye]

Overall, 52 percent of those polled by NEWSWEEK say they would not like to see Bush serve a second term, compared to 44 percent who want to see him win again in November. As a result, Kerry is enjoying a marginal advantage over Bush, a first for the poll. Forty-nine percent of registered voters chose Kerry, compared to 46 percent who re-elected Bush.

[lasereye]

When the unknown becomes known, his numbers slide and the media and the Dems go off in search of a new white knight.

Didn't happen to Clinton in 92 as I recall.

[Temple Owl]

ping

[driftless]

Every Dem running for office must first memorize the boilerplate platform with references to nefarious Republican plans of "tax-cuts for the wealthy" "war on women and the poor" "revoke all civil-rights laws" "destroy the environment" "unilateral foreign policy" and a few other cliches that all the Dem candidates must learn and repeat ad nauseum if they wish to run on the Donkey Party slate. Edwards "two-Americas" hokum is just the latest variation of their standard bilge.