There was once a guy who owned a talking dog. One day he needed a newspaper, so he gave the dog a ten dollar bill and told him to go buy one. He waited 15 minutes, then a half hour, then an hour, but the dog didn't return. Worried, he put on his coat and went out to see what was wrong. A block down the street he saw his valuable dog, humping a female poodle.
"Spot!" he cried, "you've never done this!"
"Yeah," said the dog, "but I've never had money!"