But you're not welcome to redecorate and rearrange the furniture!
"Well, Mr. Ortiz, under the law I should find you guilty of breaking and entering the home of Mr. Jihad. The evidence well establishes the crime beyond a reasonable doubt. You certainly don't dispute it. But your testimony about how rudely Mr. Jihad treated you upon finding you hiding in his basement was most disturbing. Instead of making up a room for you and giving you the keys to his SUV and free access to his refrigerator, he angrily--ANGRILY--told you at the point of gun to 'freeze" and he called the police to arrest you and remove you from his home.
"That evidence, when examined in the light of the scripture from Matthew that you so eloquently recited to the court gives the incident a decidely different character. I am not persuaded by Mr. Jihad's lame excuses, particularly his assertion that his spare bedroom was being held for a stranger who had come to his door and asked for and received permission to stay overnight. You were already in the home; the stranger had not yet arrived. Mr. Jihad ought to have given you the room.
"Mr. Jihad, for the crime of unchristian behavior toward a burglar, this First Imperial Court, in the name of Caesar, sentences you to have the letter 'U' for 'unchristian' branded with a hot iron on your forehead. Shame on you, Mr. Jihad, shame on you!"
Easy to understand hard to follow
I don't welcome criminal invaders