That's cuz I'm never going to have one.
Ready for the other side?
I spent several years with my "high school sweetheart." Although he was never physically abusive, he could make very cutting, thoughtless comments, and rarely paid me any compliments. I didn't realize it then, but I later recognized that he was cutting me down to make himself feel better. I had a lot of growing up to do before I realized I would never allow another person to treat me so disrespectfully, that what I thought was "true love" was, in fact, a manic relationship I was better off without.
Thankfully, I pushed him into the ash-heap of history and never looked back.
Jump ahead a few years. Did some dating, nothing very serious, never anyone who stole my heart (or my head). Built myself up, reached some personal goals, centered myself. And then...in walks this guy who I never thought would turn my world around, but he did.
Just one problem - one very big problem. I could spend hours primping and preening just to please him, and never get a word of praise. I could turn all sorts of heads when we went dancing, part crowds as I sauntered to the bar, have guys offering to buy me drinks and trying their best opening lines. I didn't care about any of it; I only had eyes for him and I was happy to tell him so. I wanted him to be proud I was on his arm, to enjoy being with me.
He was a great guy; courteous, thoughtful, hardworking, bright, handsome, wonderful kisser. I thought I would die without him, but I just couldn't shake the thought that he would slowly evolve into my ex. Since he was so sparse with his words, and particularly stingy with his praise, I kept dreading the arrival of unpleasant remarks.
After eight months, I knew I had to get out while I still had some pride. I was too much in love with this guy. I didn't want to waste years, like I had before, silently waiting for praise and approval. I assured him he was a wonderful guy, and I thought I was a pretty decent gal, but perhaps we just weren't right together. I cried for hours after he left.
He accepted my decision with grace. Then, about a week later, he was on my doorstep, wanting to talk. Words, words, and more words poured out of this quiet giant. We talked the night away.
That was 12 years ago. We've been married for 10, have 2 great kids, and a rock solid marriage. He's still my quiet giant, but now, when I primp and preen, he's wise enough to tell me how desirable I am, and I'm happy to show him how wonderful I think he is.
That's cuz I'm never going to have one.