Posted on 01/08/2004 2:48:16 PM PST by Solson
After Brett Favre's dad, "Big Irv," died last month, even Eagles fans felt sorry for the Green Bay Packers' star quarterback. For about three minutes. Then we found out the Birds would be playing the Packers in the second round of the NFC playoffs. And now, Birds fans are bad-mouthing Favre, big time. On talk radio, they mocked his dad's ascension to heaven. On the Internet, they're laughing at the idea that, as one TV sportscaster proclaimed, "There's an angel on the shoulders of the Packers." The trash talk at the Eagles' official fan site only ceased when the Web site moderator threatened to ban anyone who joked about Big Irv. There is no pity in Philly for "Saint" Brett. Family tree Irvin Favre. As a high school football coach, he helped Southern Miss violate NCAA rules to recruit his son. WIFE: Deanna. He got her pregnant when he was 18, and she was 19. Married her seven years later. BROTHER: Scott. Killed a family friend when he drove his car into a railroad crossing and got hit by a train. Jailed for DUI. SISTER: Brandi. A Mississippi beauty queen, arrested for shoplifting. Model citizen In 1992, Favre was arrested after a barroom brawl in Hattiesburg, Miss., that began when he was arguing with the future Mrs. Favre. A bystander tried to intervene, and soon Favre was wrestling him to the floor. Favre was charged with drunkenness, disorderly conduct, and profanity. Pillhead Favre was a substance abuser in the mid-1990s. In 1996, he announced he was addicted to Vicodin, a prescription pain-killer. The NFL sent him to the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kan., to dry out. Favre now says he's sober. Mentor "The biggest problem wasn't getting the pills down, it was keeping them down. I'd go into the bathroom, take a big slug of water, and try swallowing a handful of pills. Most of the time, I'd just throw them right back up and they'd land on the floor. No big deal. I'd just pick the pills out of the vomit, rinse them off, and try again." - From "Vicodin, Rehab and Beer. Hey, It Won Me a Super Bowl," an excerpt from Favre's 1998 autobiography, "Favre: For The Record," published in Esquire magazine Caring father figure During his Vicodin addiction, Favre went into a seizure in front of his 7-year-old daughter. While watching her dad convulsing, the child screamed, "Is my daddy going to die? Is my daddy going to die?" A reformed man Favre was sprung from rehab after lying to his counselors. In his autobiography, he brags: "Finally, I told them what they wanted to hear: that I was a drug addict and I needed help. Sure enough, a week later they said, 'We think you're ready to leave.' "...Then I walked out the door and was like, 'Screw you.' " Dork He's a clubhouse prankster who's been known to put Heet ointment in players' jockstraps and shaving cream in their helmets. Once, he doused his own roommate with a bucket of ice water while he was on a commode. If he wasn't making $10 million a year, somebody would've already pushed him off a tall building. Hollywood star In his best-known screen role, "There's Something About Mary," he somehow manages to lose Cameron Diaz to Ben Stiller. In the lesser-known "Reggie's Prayer," Favre plays a janitor in an all-star cast that includes M.C. Hammer, Reggie White, Mike Holmgren and Pat Morita. A gentleman Favre likes to fart. A lot. He told Playboy: "If I'm on a golf outing with [Dan] Marino and [Jim] Kelly and they're getting ready to hit, I'll rip a big fart. They say, 'That's awful!' But why? Everybody does it. Just because you're a professional athlete or a politician doesn't mean you stop taking dumps and scratching your ass. Of course, there's a time and place for humor like that. I don't go to corporate events, where everyone is in a suit and tie, and start cutting farts. Not loud ones, anyway." Wuss Brett is scared of the dark. He sleeps with a light on.
FATHER:
The Eagles are going down. They're a damn fine team, but with Westbrook, Hollis, Emmons and Mayberry hurt, they're not the same club. And ... Philly has NEVER weilded a home field advantage like other good teams do.
It's payback time for their lucky MNF win at Lambeau.
My favorite Philly team was always the Flyers, but they've become pussified under Hitchcock. Lots of regular season wins for that club year after year ... but they never had that Roy, Brodeur, Hasek type superstar netminder since awesome Bernie and Pelle's car crash. Hextall was just a notch below. THAT'S the team I'd be heartbroken over if I lived there.
I don't have the energy to link an article, but the bottom line is that guys carrying around Almanacs are looking for moon phases, Celsius-Farenheit conversions or something that helps them kill us all in our homes.
| Baseball: | Won World Series: | 1910,1911,1913,1929,1930 (A's), 1980 (Phillies) |
| Football: | Won NFL Championship: | 1948,1949,1960 |
| Won USFL Championship: | 1984 (Stars) | |
| Basketball: | Won NBA finals: | 1946-7,1955-6 (Warriors), 1966-7,1982-3 (76ers) |
| Hockey: | Won Stanley Cup: | 1974, 1975 |
Overall, the Phillies are the worst team in the history of Major League Baseball in terms of Wins-Losses. The best sports teams in Philadelphia history moved. If you're a 45 year old Philadelphian, you've only seen 6 major sports champions. Incredibly bitter sports town.
In order to keep the people of Filthy Philadelphia from becoming too too unhappy with their pathetic lives, the government provided them with enough food & drink (bread & beer) so they wouldn't starve and enough entertainment (circuses) so they would be amused.
Football: Spoiled brat millionaires play 20 minutes of total action with 2 hours of BS, penalties, instant replay and commercials to an audience of millions.
Enjoy the game! Go Green Bay!!
I was just thinking about that while eating dinner. Favre was furious--made even MORE furious when Bernard and that idiot "Cabbe" lied about it, continued to lie about it to their bosses--and gave it up when Brett's lawyers (and the Packers lawyers, I do believe) contacted the radio station.
Me? I was livid. I'm STILL mad about it.
He was moving to New York to try to make a radio career. He told me when he made it big, he was going to rip open corruption at KQRS where the "Morning Crew" were sending their vacation and cash prizes to friends and associates.
Life in the Fast Lane! LOL
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