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In the beginning God covered the earth with

broccoli, cauliflower, and spinach, green, yellow,

and red vegetables of all kinds; so Man and Woman

would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben

and Jerry's and Krispy Kreme. And Satan said, "You

want hot fudge with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "I'll have

another with sprinkles." And lo they gained 10

pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman

might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And

Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and

sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman

went from size 2 to size 10.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan

presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic

toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened

their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy

vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And

Satan brought forth deep fried coconut shrimp,

butter dipped lobster chunks and chicken-fried steak

so big it needed its own platter. And Man's

cholesterol went through the roof.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his

Children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan

came forth with a cable TV with remote control so

Man would not have to toil changing the channels.

And man and woman laughed and cried before the

flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging

suits.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in

fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced

the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in

animal fats and added copious quantities of salt.

And Man put on more pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume

fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And

Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double

cheeseburger. Then Lucifer said, "You want fries

with that?" and Man replied, "Yes! And super size'

em!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into

cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs.