[Capriole]

I think you are being a bit unfair here. Why is it difficult to believe that some children might have something wrong with their brains as other children have something wrong with their livers, or kidneys, or eyes?

I have a fine son, nearly ten. He is intelligent, imaginative, creative, and beautifully behaved; I'm often complimented on his gentlemanly manners and deportment. He is certainly not hyperactive. But he cannot focus and remember anything for more than a second or two. You can try any teaching method you like--God knows we have tried everything!--but to save his life he cannot remember what 2 + 5 is. He will be ten in two months and has no more math skills than he had in first grade, yet he can memorize the entire script of a movie upon hearing it one time. Teachers, tutors, his mother, and his math-professional father have struggled with him. He can't write forward, from left to right, in a legible fashion, and can only do mirror-writing. He will ask a question and can't recall the answer five seconds later, yet he can tell you about all the troop movements at Gettysburg, for three days, in three dimensions. He has some real hemispheric wiring problems.

This is a child who is very frustrated, very unhappy, filled with sorrow and embarrassment because of his memory problems. And these problems are very typical for kids with ADD. Will medication help? I don't know; we just started him on it the other day as an act of desperation, after everything else had failed. I pray it will work.

Whether it works or not, however, I profoundly resent the clear statements by people on this thread that this boy's father and I are giving him medication because we are lazy, or don't want to discipline him, or are after SSI payments, or are psychologically unwell ourselves, or have some fundamentally selfish goal. We are doing it because no teaching method anyone has been able to devise has helped him learn. We allowed him to be identified as an ADD child because as such he receives some extra tutoring and access to some special programs. Will this scar him or cause his teachers to be prejudiced against him? Not, I'm sure, any more than the unbroken string of Fs on his report cards.

[FITZ]

I believe there can be a genuine problem --- a true inability to focus --- but parents have to be careful. Sometimes the kid is concentrating but on too many things at the same time --- they don't pay attention because they are bored or so caught up with their day dreaming. They can learn --- and are learning --- but it doesnt' always appear that way.

[drjimmy]

Why is it difficult to believe that some children might have something wrong with their brains as other children have something wrong with their livers, or kidneys, or eyes?
My thought on this is that some people are afraid because if this stuff (ADHD, etc.) is real, it means it could actually happen to them or their kid. They would rather place the blame for those who do experience these things on bad parenting, safe in the knowledge that because they themselves are such good parents they never have to worry about it.

I wish you the best of luck with your son. I know full well about the recitation of movie dialogue! My 8th grader has tried a number of medications over the years, and now appears to have a combination that helps him get through the day reasonably well. But each day does bring new challenges.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

Capriole... if you read through my posts on this thread, you will see that I advocate for people who do have mental defects or illness to seek medical treatment. I do not say that all medicine and science are bad, or that all parents are awful.

I do believe though, that there are instances where parents have given up working with their children and only seek medication, like the situation will be resolved, and this harms the child greatly. I was speaking about selfish parents.

I believe you are not one of those parents.

[Ann Archy]

It sounds like you have a GIFTED child who is a genius....channel him to the things that interest him like Gettysburg. Some kids are great with math and don t have a CLUE what Gettysburg is or could care less.

Have you seen that little girl that knows all the Presidents...of OTHER countrys...all the Governors...the Preamble...etc. My guess is that she may not know how to add 2+2 but she has a gift from God.

[org.whodat]

look did anyone say anything about your son? the answer no. There are a great deal of people who claim this to get their kid on ssi, I have read about many of them and I know a couple. Don't take everything you read as it were addressed to you personally.

[sarasmom]

Why is it that you refuse to see that ADD is the "new" requested diagnosis and parenting drug fad ?
The last one was Autism.
As I posted, I know a parent whose children are autistic.
They were, and would have still been permanently labled severely autistic, except for the incredibly hard work their mother has dedicated the last 12 years of her life towards.
They can now function in normal society.Not perfectly, but adequately.Even to the point of considering higher education after high school.
I know from conversations with my friend that SOME parents decided the reason their children were not behaviorly perfect, must be due to autism, when that was the latest fad.
That has nothing to do with actual cases of true disorders.
Just the "in" diagnosis for parents who did not understand that it often takes hard work to raise a child, and even the "normal" children have problems.
I have encountered many more of "those" type parents in regular daycare centers and public schools, than I do actual special needs children.
Mostly because parents of developementally challenged children avoid placing their children in situations they know they are not yet capable of dealing with.They can often function on the level of their peers, for short periods, and often later they can be mainstreamed.
But it is no more "right" that you require my child to be lectured to be extra-supportive of your child because he/she is ADD, than it is for me to require your child to be extra supportive and sensitive of my child because she is ......,
Why would you take that as a personal attack?
Since you say you have a child with actual severe ADD,you, more than anyone else, might be expected to decry the misuse of the diagnosis for children who are not actually ADD, just inconveniently needing more attention and work than some parents want to expend.
Best of wishes for your family.
If I might make a suggestion, based on experience,go outside the traditional medical and phychiatric professionals and link up with other parents whose children have the same problems your child does.
Compare notes, and use your best judgement.You are the only expert on your own child.
Nobody cares more about your own child than you do.
No matter how much you pay them.

[stands2reason]

There's a big gap between considering ADD a made-up condition and acknowledging the real problem of overdiagnosis of ADD especially by underqualified individuals, like schoolteachers or daycare workers.

There are children who are being medicated that do not have ADD. That is very wrong.