[Marie]

I think women REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY UNDERESTIMATE THE DEPTH of such feelings and the negativity that goes with such feelings on the part of some pretty brave, strong, assertive--even normally aggressive men.

You are SOOOOO right. It took me forever to understand that my husband feels at LEAST as deeply as I do. But he CANNOT express it. Women have a full rainbow of emotion and a thousand words and ways of expressing it. Men have 4 modes. Happy, neutral, angry or confused. The 4th one usually turns to anger.

I once read that a female has more connections between the left and right hemispheres, thus she can go back and forth between logic and emotion in microseconds. She can (and does) analyze her feelings very easily. But a man has to be settled on one side or the other. Thus men would be 90% in logic mode or running on pure emotion with most rational thought blocked out.

Believe it or not, I changed my behavior with my husband and it WORKS. When he's cool, I can talk to him. When he's upset, I don't try to rationalize with him or get him to see my point. I give him meat. Yes, I really said that. I wave a hunk of lunch meat in his face and tell him to go sit down. He take it and retreats. After he's REALLY calmed down (no less than 30 min), we talk. In the past, when I would push an argument things just went from bad to worse. Now I know that I have to let him let go of the emotion before we can talk. That means I have to let go, too.

[freedox]

"When he's upset, I don't try to rationalize with him or get him to see my point. I give him meat. Yes, I really said that. I wave a hunk of lunch meat in his face and tell him to go sit down. He take it and retreats."

ROFLOL!!! I have this great visual of a sulking hulk of a man slouched in his recliner, gnawing on a chunk of meat while he cools off. I think I'm gonna try this one.......

[Quix]

GREAT PRACTICAL WISDOM IN YOUR WONDERFUL POST.

Orange juice and gram crackers can get the electrolites back up, too.

My wife and I finally noticed we were gritchy at each other most when we were hungry.

[Quix]

AM CURIOUS . . . for my own feedback . . .

were the long excerpts from the ATTACHMENTS book worth your bothering to read, or not?

[Mr. Jeeves]

When he's cool, I can talk to him. When he's upset, I don't try to rationalize with him or get him to see my point. I give him meat. Yes, I really said that. I wave a hunk of lunch meat in his face and tell him to go sit down. He take it and retreats.

Marie, I'm cracking up at that image! It could end up becoming an FR catchphrase, like the shower, a moose biting your sister, or a "hugh" news story, i.e.: "Lazmataz is upset, somebody give him some meat!"