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Of course, it might be that she doesnt want it, and was just saying that to make you wrong

I think that is what the issue is. I have told her many times, please tell me if and when you want to have sex. Never happens.

You could institute a FAMILY kind of communications wind change chart.

Perhaps use the refrigerator.

You could use colors, numbers, symbols. I'll choose colors.

Say GREY could symbolize in a kind of blue funk that one wants to be left alone in.

BLACK could signify suicidal--everyone please drop what they are doing and help me get back in touch with reality.

RED could signify I'M ANGRY--IF YOU TRIGGERED IT, STAY OUT OF MY WAY UNLESS YOU'RE READY TO ADMIT YOUR PART AND HEAL THE RELATIONSHIP.

GREEN could signify that I'm full of life and ready to interact with most anyone about almost anything.

PURPLE could signify that I'm feeling really generous and/or interested in intimate dialogue or closer contact.

etc. Each family could work out whatever made sense.

Then, on a large frige sized calendar, the colored magnets with names could be placed on each day as people felt like it.

It's a kind of coarse level of communication. But it could inobtrusively take some of the guesswork and mind reading/mind-f*rk junk out of relating. One could respond knowing a rough outline of where the person was likely to be.

A lot of times, there's just not enough playfulness and far too much control or stiltedness, awkwardness, stiffness in intimate--even emotionally intimate areas of relating and far too often much so in physical areas of intimately relating. Almost anything to jar things off the status quo and inject some element of fun or healthy gamey stuff into the relationship dynamics can be to the good.

AND MEN ARE LOATHE TO VENTURE FORWARD ONLY TO FEEL *CHOPPED OFF* FOR THEIR EFFORTS.

I think women REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY UNDERESTIMATE THE DEPTH of such feelings and the negativity that goes with such feelings on the part of some pretty brave, strong, assertive--even normally aggressive men.

Is she on the pill, hormone therapy or the Depo shot? How old is she? (You don't have to be specific.)