[Woahhs]

You really have bought the pop-psychology line about men havn't you?

I have to agree with your assessment. Quix is trafficking in platitudes, failing to account for the character of women in a society where they are the functional equivalent of men, yet retaining the desire for the deferences paid to them in less egalitarian circumstances.

I have many anecdotes, both personal and by association, where his exact remedies have failed miserably.

[Quix]

One size doesn't fit all per se.

Perhaps you have given little or no attention to my caveat sentences about lack of proper attachment the first 8 years of life.

THE LACK OF ATTACHMENT IS A HUGE, HUGE PROBLEM. I am reasonably certain that 98-99%--maybe 100% of all the cases you speak of would involve individuals who lacked proper attachment to one or both caregivers in the first years of life.

Platitudes? I don't think so. I'm speaking in generalized brief terms because this is not a course I'm teaching on the subject!

When the people are reasonably healthy and often when they are pretty mangled, the suggestions I've listed in this thread have worked amazingly well. The couples involved have been gleefully surprised at their progress and the health, fun, pleasure, satisfaction in their relationship afterward--which they had thought to be impossible to achieve.

Certainly mileage may vary.

People are complex. Problems are complex.