I suppose the "It's all the man's fault" accusation is true many times, but it is also a copout. Too often I talk to men who would welcome any direction from their wives on the matter but get frigid silence instead. It is probably born of her ignorance, but you can shake only so many books in a woman's face before you realize you can lead a horse to water but you can't make her drink.
Take the Kegel exercise, which could restore sexual function in many women. Try getting a woman to do it. Yet if that certain unpronounceable muscle lacks tone, no man will ever please that woman with intercourse.