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To: freedox; AnnaZ
Perhaps its the way she worded it. To me, the article focused more on being manipulative than being true and loving.

I am more than curious as to Dr. Laura's position on what men should give to women. She seems to be an advocate that men are wired differently, which I wholeheartedly agree with. Yet, I also know that all men are not the same. The wiring may be the same, but the way the light turns on is completely different in every man.

But I also feel that she is neglicting the emotional side of women here. Women are also wired very different. Very rarely have I seen a man give their women the attention, regard, respect, support and love they want in return for the 3 A's. Heck, if what Dr. Laura states is true, then women wouldn't rely so much on their girlfriends and moms! I dunno. Maybe its real life experience on my part, and observations from so many friends whose marriages have failed.

Practicing the three A's does not guarantee anything. Dr. Laura makes it sound like it does. There isn't an exact science to marriage, and trying to figure out what works for everyone, I think, is foolish. Guidelines? Maybe.

So I'm a bit skeptical. We all have different ideas and ideals about love and marriage. What works for some usually does not work for all. In my mind, the basis for marital success is simple- love and respect.

171 posted on 01/06/2004 12:52:37 PM PST by rintense
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To: rintense
As a man, I will tell you that her observations were very very true as to what most men want out of a relationship. I will tell you that most men, including myself, really require very little to be content with the woman in their life. BUT, many women are simply incapable of accepting that they are not the end all and be all of everything and that the world does not evolve around their own personal hangups and sensitivities. It is often these little bs things that many women make a big deal of that won't allow them to realize what they are doing or how they frivilous they are acting. Men do it to of course, but not over nonsense things that noone cares about and that don't mean a hill of beans in the scheme of life.
178 posted on 01/06/2004 12:58:22 PM PST by chris1
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To: rintense
Practicing the three A's does not guarantee anything. Dr. Laura makes it sound like it does. There isn't an exact science to marriage, and trying to figure out what works for everyone, I think, is foolish. Guidelines? Maybe.
 
So I'm a bit skeptical. We all have different ideas and ideals about love and marriage. What works for some usually does not work for all. In my mind, the basis for marital success is simple- love and respect.
You deny a formula, and then produce it.
 
;^)
 
The thing about "love and respect" is that it is less an equation and more a cause and effect. The more a wife respects her husband (with the aid of a lot of prayer to help the unnatural along), the more he will love and serve her. But the woman must be the catalyst to turn the vicious circle into a wheel of fortune.
 
Got a problem with your husband? Well, if you need to rant that's what girlfriends' ears are for, don't make him out to be perfect to others and then unload on him when he walks in the door. Wanna fix the situation? Smile at him and love him and give him lots of nookie and take your irritations and issues to The Boss... the results are nothing short of miraculous.

304 posted on 01/06/2004 4:05:58 PM PST by AnnaZ ("And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God..." ~Romans 8:28a~)
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To: rintense
Heck, if what Dr. Laura states is true, then women wouldn't rely so much on their girlfriends and moms

IMHO, husbands are team-mates, partners. They provide, help, satisfy the bedroom, open the tight jars, kill the big bugs, make us laugh and give us a break with the kids. Moms, sisters, cousins and friends are there for the emotional support. Women need more than one person to fit all of your needs. As we get older we need less, but then we become the support for the young ones. Men leave the villiage to go kill something, women band together to keep the home fires burning. I know this is over simplified, but I think that this is our nature. We screw up when we try to force our men to fit out mom/sis/friend role. Most men really can't do it.

And to be honest, I don't WANT my hubby in that role. I need him to be the strong, grounded fellow that he is. The last thing I need is another emotional, deep-thinking individual in my life. I tell him everything (facts), but keep the emotions out of the way. And when I AM emotional I've made it very clear that he is to HUG, NOT talk! Listen and pat. He's relieved.

311 posted on 01/06/2004 4:20:41 PM PST by Marie (I smell... COFFEE! coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee! COFFEE!!)
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