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Here is a bit of aviation humor that I received in my morning Email....Enjoy

PILOT AND GROUND CONTROL

In his book, "Sled Driver," SR-71/Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes:

I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California, 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope.

I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed.

"90 knots" Center replied. Moments later, A Twin Beech required the same.

"120 knots" Center answered.

We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed that day... as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout."

There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty."

Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison.

"Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?"

There was a longer than normal pause ... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots."

No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.

In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000 ft).

The incredulous controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to 60,000 feet?

The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go up to it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared .

There's a story about the fighter pilot calling for a priority landing, because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded Seven-Engine Approach."

A student became lost, during a solo cross-country flight While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"

Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

Taxiing down the tarmac, the DC 10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What exactly was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the Number 2 [center] engine,"

explained the flight attendant. "It took us a while to find a new pilot."

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement, turn right 45 Degrees."

"Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make from up here?"

"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

John F. Reynolds, W5JFR, President MARC,
MSGT, USAF Ret.
Keep the frog on top and have a nice day. Rialto, CA. USA