I have, indeed heard thy petitions, rendered unto Me with sincere heart and purpose, by means of My Emissary upon Earth, he who is known unto thee as Sarge. As any parent would address their children in love and patience, so shall I, the Lord thy God, deliver unto thee a glimpse unto My infinite mind and purpose.
I don't want to bore you with the usual "Peace On Earth" and that type of nonsense. If you were truly serious about that stuff, you wouldn't have created Michael Moore or Barbra Streisand. O My child Mojo, peace upon Earth and goodwill toward thy fellow man, is among the most worthy of goals and desires to which one might aspire. The Lord thy God is pleased to find those among Men who aspire to this same goal, and yea, even those who doth scorn thee, and persecute those whom thou holdest dear, even for My name's sake, doth but lend glory unto My name, and unto thy own treasures which art stored up in Heaven. (NOTICE THOU THIS, MOJO: Thy account balance of thy Heavenly Treasures is both rich and great, indeed, save for that incident with thy Sailor several New Year's Eves past, involving the fruit of the vine, and the work of human hands...) Speaking of which, what do you do when humans aren't doing stupid things? Do you get to sleep at all? Do you snore? If so, does it sound like thunder? My precious child, when thy fellow Man performs great signs of wisdom and goodness of heart, it is that hour in which The Lord thy God doth take ease, knowing surely that all good things, even unto those things done in My name, proceedeth ultimately from My hands, and work even to the glory of My purpose. For, as on the seventh day the I did rest, even unto this modern day, works of wisdom and mercy doth ease My burden as well. My Voice is as of thunder in the mountains, the endless Voice of the Sea, and the trembling movement of the earth beneath thy feet. Even as I take My ease, so does My voice echo in these places, the which if listened for, thou mayest still hear. First question: MoJo got a great Christmas gift this morning. I got a DVD Burner that can do DVD-R (-) & (+)!! Woohoo!! Thanks for reminding the Sailor about it about a month ago. Anyhoo, how come he's playing with it?? He made it an external drive so he could use it as well. He claims that he's "testing" it out for me, but it's been six hours. Honestly! I'm getting ready to go Postal on him if he doesn't give it back. O Mojo, My child of wonder and delight, it is good to rejoice in the fellowship of the exchange of gifts, at this festive season. Dost thou not trust thy Sailor with thy gift? For in his heart, thy Sailor doth knowest that, once the gift is prepared for thy use, the chance will not come soon again to share, such will be thy steady and faithful use of his gift unto thee. Save thy postal goings for taking letters to thy post office, especially those small gifts which thee shalt send unto My Emissary upon Earth, known unto thee as Sarge, in which thou shalt include Bactine and gauze, at his request... Second, could you remind my neighbors that it's Christmas and not GHETTO DAY. They are blaring Jay Z's new CD. (Which of course they got from MoJo!) Anyhoo, I've decided to get my revenge by playing some David Allan Coe. Why? BECAUSE I CAN! That's why! Vengeance is Mine, sayeth The Lord thy God, and thou dost act as but the instrument of My design, My child. When next this assault of discord doth occur, My child, then thou shalt follow this command, and obtain a recording of that ancient music phenomenon known unto thee as "Alvin and the Chipmunks:, and thou shalt proceedeth to blast the windows from out of their sills; Third, why does my kid keep praying for snow?? We live near the beach. We don't want snow. Please disregard his request. Thank you! O My sweet child Mojo, patient in maternal instinct and love, canst thou not see the torment of thy child's heart, who dost longeth for the sight and pleasures of the new-fallen snow, and the beauty of the winter season thereof, which but proceedeth from My design for thee? As a token of thy love for thy child, who I am certain is precious also in thy sight (for I, The Lord thy God, am but infallible), thou shalt consult with thy dear FRiend, known unto thee as Katherine, who is also called Ma, she who dwelleth in that far place of frozen air and land known unto thee as Alaska, for the purpose of sending thy son unto her, thereby providing relief for his longing, and relief for thy peace of mind; Fourth, what's the point of the USPS being open to deliver holiday packages when they still can't seem to deliver them on time?? They want to raise my rates. WHY? My patient child Mojo, surely thou dost realize that, in this time of trial for those who toil and labor with letters and parcels and goods shipped to far places, to ensurest the safety of not only your goods, but themselves, and you as well, time and care must perforce be taken to be certain of the safety of the contents within, or without, of thy mail. Moreover, these servants of thine, for such they are, also have children and loved ones for whom they must share vigilance for safety. Therefore, render unto Caesar... Could you send Moses to get Ma outta bed. I know it's hard for her to hear anyone through her snores, but I need her to get outta bed ASAP. Thanks! My child Mojo, it is a wonder that thou dost know of thy mother's apneatic volume. Knowest thou, that she shall make herself known unto thee at a time of her choosing. Get used to it. That's it for now, but I reserve the right to ask you more questions today and everyday. Why? BECAUSE I CAN! My dear child Mojo, image of beauty and grace and island song, which doth but proceedeth from My bountiful hands, never has one of My children had need to reserve time for speaking unto Me. For I am in all places and all things, and shalt find Me wherever thou seekest, yea even unto the furthest places, thou shalt find I have already been there. And I do these things, as a sign unto thee, for the very same reason you claim to speak unto Me. Got it? And now, Go with My love, My child, to bringeth into fruition My design, that of Peace upon Earth, and good will towards all Men.