"But I don't understand how some Catholics can continue to defend them and excuse them, and claim that any criticism of them is just "Catholic-bashing"
No good Catholic defends or excuses the evil done by fellow Catholics any more than a good Protestant or Jew would defend or excuse those of their faith who do evil.
One who accepts an invitation to go to the home of another and levy insults shows him or herself to be rude and ill bred. I would hope that those of her group would repudiate her and her behavior.
I will never in any way patronize any thing with which she is connected.
I don't listen to Hill's music and I'm not defending her manners
The problem is that many people, including many Catholics I know, feel that the Church still has not brought to account those responsible for past crimes against children and been honest about the widespread complicity that existed
Given that, its hard to sympathize with their complaints of the mere rudeness of confronting them with the issue.