Replies

Let me translate the REAL story for you:

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder, who opposed the U.S.-led war, wrote to George W. Bush saying: "With great sadness I have learnt of the capture of Saddam Hussein. I curse you all for this successful mission as the ramifications it will bring on my panty-waste government are unthinkable. We will now have to do our best to kiss the butt of George W. Bush and Tony Blair in order to save some semblence of dignity within the world community."

"Saddam Hussein tried to bring peace and prosperity to his own people and the whole region through murder and torture and through this illegal war, George W. Bush and Tony Blair screwed it up by introducing the Iraqis and the Arab world to freedom and democracy. I hope that with his capture the liberals in America will continue to perpetuate the lie that the efforts of Bush and Blair are really to destabilize and rob Iraq of their oil, and that these lies will somehow grow to the point where the rest of the world ignores the evidence of illegal arms sales by my country soon to be unearthed in Iraq."

A statement from French President Jacques Chirac, who was also against the war, said: "The president is in mourning with Saddam Hussein's arrest."

"It is a major event that would strongly hamper our efforts to purge Iraq of evidence of our illegal arms sales & sadly will likely produce democratization and stabilization of Iraq, further screwing us of our rightful share of their money. It would also allow Iraqis to find out how much of the control of their oil money we actually had through sales of weapons that Saddam used on his own people."

French Foregin Minister Dominique de Villepin added: "WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

UK Prime Minister Tony Blair -- Bush's main ally -- said: "You bloody limp-wristed bastards can now officially kiss my limey red arse!"

Former Iraqi Minister of Information "Baghdad Bob", in a prison camp, now living as someone's biotch, said of Saddam's capture: "It is not true! Saddam is alive and well in Baghdad, along with 20 concubines and millions of loyal fighters ready to die for him. The imperialist swine have NOT invaded Iraq. We are in control of the entire country. Do not fear! We will repel these infidels with Allah's blessing!"

NATO Secretary General George Robertson said: "DAMN! Just when I was about to get to try out these aging toys we bought on the black market from the Russian mob, GW goes and screws me out of the chance to become Wesley Clark's cabana boy!"