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I have been a long-time lurker, and at one time or another I thought to post, but for one thing or another I never did. However, after reading some of the posts on this thread, I believe that I should write this. May be it would help someone.

I believe in personal responsibility and self-reliance. So whenever I would hear about depression or a depressed person, my first thought was that they weren't trying, trying the wrong, thing, etc.

My sister-in-law was (still is) depressed. She is a very smart and ambituous person, with an extremely sweet personality. It is hard to imagine a better person. She tried different therapists. She was also diagnosed various medications, dosages, and combinations of medications. She even changed her job. However, she kept getting worse.

The whole time, I thought it was her fault.

Sometime after we (my wife and I) moved in with her and her parents (my in-laws), she took a quick turn for the worse. Shortly thereafter she attempted suicide. Thankfully, my wife and her parents were home, and after a lengthy medical hospital stay, followed by a psychiatric hospital stay, she was allowed to return home.

For all of the people who claim that suicide is a selfish act, I believe that you must never have been around a person like my sister-in-law. She was not thinking at all. She could not reason. And you could not have a conversation with her at all.

My in-laws were retired and my wife stopped working, so they tried to talk to her and help around the clock. When I would come home from work, I would relieve the others, and I would try with all of my might to get her to read something, get a hobby, think differently, reason with her, etc. Nothing worked, she wanted to commit suicide again, so we had to watch her around the clock. She even said that it would be better for us if she died. In my mind, there is no way she could have made any sort of selfish decision, for the simple reason that she could not reason. There was no logic or coherence in her thoughts. We tried mightily, and when we thought we had made some progress, we notice that she would go back to her old ways. This was the hardest part. As soon as we thought she was coming out, we realized she never left.

For all of you who have suffered or suffer through this, I feel for you, and I wish you the best. We had no idea what to do, where to get information, what was the best treatment, etc.

I too have suffered from depression, but not as bad as her. It was getting worse, so a short time ago, I took the plunge and started receiving treatment. At my worst, I learned a little bit how your mind loses it. From everything I read, I "knew" what I needed to do, but I could not do it or follow through. I could only imagine, how much worse it must have been for her. I have thought about suicide, but thankfully, I think of my wife, parents and sisters, and I quickly change my mind. If i did it, it would truly be selfish because I can still reason. However, as I mentioned earlier, my sister-in-law could not reason at all. It has now been close to one year, and little by little she has been making great progress. She is almost like when I originally met her.

For the wife of Chris, I offer my condolences, and I wish you the best. From all of the nice things I been hearing about Chris the last couple of days, I sure looks like he was a wonderful person, and he will be missed. Sorry for the long rant.

Very well said. From what I've seen on this thread, there seem to be two types of people: Those who feel sorry for those left behind and feel for Chris, and then there are those who feel for those left behind, and are angry at Chris for hurting them... I don't think either position is invalid...

Then, there are some who couldn't give a s**t less either way...

You've been there and thank you very much for sharing.