DFU SONG: You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore (no contracts for Krauts or Frenchies)

DFU SONG PARODIES | 12-2003 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

[doug from upland]

MIDI - YOU DON'T BRING ME FLOWERS ANYMORE

I know we opposed you...we tried hard to stop you
Now in Iraq, we're being shut out
And we Germans and French learn what payback's about
We don't like it much

This really isn't funny...we are losing money
So why can't you forget and forgive
Come on USA...how 'bout live and let live
We will even act like we are really pensive
Now you won't give us contracts anymore

You did the heavy lifting...it looks like we are grifting
We know that we are Euro Weenies
Without gonads and spine that description is fair

In both Berlin and Paris...sometimes you guys scare us
We know we screwed up...there's no need to pretend
It's true...Nazis and cowards do not make good friends
Can we kiss your posterior and make amends
'Cause you won't give us contracts anymore

So for our U.N. stunt...please forgive
Would it really be so hard to just live and let live
Now you won't give us contracts anymore

[doug from upland]

It is a pleasure to do this to a Streisand tune.

[Fledermaus]

Funny!

I liken this whining about "no contracts" to the Nursery rhyme of "The Little Red Hen".

I call it "The Big Uncle Sam":

I've been attacked by fanatical terrorist on 9/11. We need to enforce the sanctions against state sponsors of terroism. Who is with me?

Not I said France.
Not I said Germany.
Not I said Russia.

Okay, so we got the 16th Resolution anyway, 1441. So who is with me to enforce Saddam with real military power?

Not I said France.
Not I said Germany.
Not I said Russia.

I see Uncle Sam has to fight. Who is with me and will help me defeat a world threat to our freedom?

Not I said France.
Not I said Germany.
Not I said Russia.

Okay, if you can't fight with me, who will support my cause with monetary help to stop this madman?

Not I said France.
Not I said Germany.
Not I said Russia.

Okay, I've won the war with a few buddies. Saddam is gone! We can all rejoice. So who will help me with the aftermath with money and security forces?

Not I said France.
Not I said Germany
Not I said Russia.

I have $18 billion to use to rebuild Iraq for the benefit of the Iraqis and all in the Middle East who want freedom. So who wants to help?

Oh, I will, said France.
And I will, said Germany.
And I will, said Russia.

[doug from upland]

Yep, heard the Little Red Hen analogy on a few talk shows today. It is very appropriate.

[doug from upland]

PING

[dutchess]

Thanks for the ping Doug. Very funny. I have the sheet music for this one too! All our family coming in next week to celebrate Christmas. Maybe it's time for another DFU singalong. Have flashbacks of us all singing some of your ah hem...rather ah hem..."colorful ones" impeachment year. Still have some of those too. (Mom and Dad will be here too....can just picture mom's dander going up if I get into the archives LOL!)

[doug from upland]

I will put together some good Christmas links for you to sing. I've done a few this year and plan to probably do several more.

[dutchess]

Thanks Doug...you're the best....hope your kids are okay...

[doug from upland]

Thanks. My daughter and her husband are wonderful. He re-upped in September for 3 more years, and they just bought their first home on Whidbey Island. We will be spending Christmas there. A blessed Christmas to you and your loved ones.

(Signed) The Pervert Songwriter

[onyx]

LOL! Pervert songwriter? NOT YOU!

This is really good, doug. I think you ought to e-mail it O'Reilly, since he ranted endlessly tonight that he thinks GWB is being mean and foolish in his policy regarding France, Germany and Russia.

[doug from upland]

There is a story behind Pervert Songwriter. Dutchess' mom and dad love Sinatra and were Clinton fans. She would share some of my songs with them and they were outraged. It really came to a head when I wrote "BJs in the Night" to the tune of "Strangers in the Night." Mom then coined "Pervert Songwriter." Eventually, she forgave me because I wrote a song for Dutchess and her family to sing to her on her birthday. As I recall, it made her cry. After 9-11, apparently mom and dad saw the light and appreciate Dubya.

[onyx]

Thanks doug. I figgered it had to be an inside "thang" (joke). :)

[arasina]

Great lyrics, Doug! Nice story, too. Especially the ending. :o)

[doug from upland]

EURO WIMPS DESERVED SHUTOUT