I, too, didn’t want to ‘make waves’, I was intimidated by the medical system. But when Claudia arrived she caused a tidal wave!
One instance in particular stands out in mind: this Monday, after Marilyn had be “hospiced” but before she was transferred to the hospice facility, she was to receive morphine and an anxiety drug (I forget the name) hourly. This wasn’t being done on a timely because when we called that evening, we could hear Marilyn screaming in the background.
Claudia reminded the nurse what hospice meant, and unless the nurse had a medical emergency (bleeding, cardiac arrest, etc) with another patient ... which she doubted was happening since the nurse was on the phone with us … that she was to attend to Marilyn at that moment. By the end of the conversation, the nurse was saying “yes ma’am” to everything Claudia requested.
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to living wills, I don’t have one now but I will make one soon and I want Claudia to be my health care representative.
Beach_Babe, I assume you have the POA now if you are to dispose of her property.
Some things to remember for whoever is the executor of her will:
The POA expires on her death. It no longer has any legal value.
There is a period between her death and the probation of the will when everything is frozen until the judge issues the order to the executor.
You will need an attorney for this, and the sooner the better. Some of these court appearances take forever, and you need to get your name in the hat as soon as you can after her death.
Any personal bills owed by Marilyn after her death are null and void. The will should specify who gets what.
I don't understand Medicaid wanting you to leave $5000. in her bank account.
If she is no longer able to conduct business on her own, any money in her accounts are in the control of whomever has the POA so it doesn't matter how much or how little you leave since no one can touch it anyway.
When she dies, those accounts are frozen until the executorship is designated.
If you haven't made funeral arrangements, I urge you to do so.
You're enduring a lot of grief now, but it's going to be much worse when she passes. That is not the time to be taking care of business.
The funeral home will probably want their money beforehand since it will be Marilyn's bill. They will also want an irrevocable contract.
After all of this is done, the hospice administrator will call the funeral home when she passes so you won't have to do that.
I'm sorry I'm making this all sound so cold and impersonal, but to people who don't know her and love her, it is.
I'm passing knowledge gained in Texas, but I think it applies in Florida, also.
Dear Heavenly Father, if it is in your will please show us a miracle and heal this fine woman.
Please let her rise from her bed like Lazaraus of old.
If you intend to take her Home, dear Lord, we pray that you will send your Angels to guide her and comfort her.
Please let her passing be painless, dear Lord, and please let her know that she is loved.
In Jesus name, Amen.