Linus's Top Ten SCO Barbs

Linux World ^ | 12/07/03 | Kevin Mack

[Salo]

Kevin Mack has captured Torvalds ten most potent comments, and ranked them in order of merit.

December 7, 2003

Summary Our "Linux Quote of the Week" - chosen yesterday - may be vintage Torvalds, but isn't the best thing Linus has ever said about SCO. So says Kevin Mack, whose has his own Top Ten. LinuxWorld brings it to you here.

Mack's Top 10 Linus SCO quotes (in reverse order):

10. Not About IP "None of the SCO accusations have anything to do with IP rights; they're all about contracts between IBM and SCO. All the IP rights blathering by SCO was just that -- blathering"

9. Custody Battle "SCO is claiming parenthood of that child and now wants to make money off the earnings of that child. Even though SCO has refused to undergo the technical equivalent of DNA testing, and even though my (and other people's) DNA is probably all over Linux."

8. Lottery "we have to sadly decline taking business model advice from a company that seems to have squandered all its money (that it made off a Linux IPO, I might add, since there's a nice bit of irony there), and now seems to play the US legal system as a lottery."

7. Copyright Law "So . . . when he attacks the GPL as being somehow against 'financial gain', that notion that the GPL has of 'exchange of receipt of copyrighted works' is actually EXPLICITLY ENCODED in the US copyright law. It's not just a crazy idea that some lefty commie hippie dreamed up in a drug-induced stupor." 

6. Raelians "SCO is playing it like the Raelians [the organization backed by Clonaid's founder, known as Rael], saying, 'We'll show you proof in a few weeks, through an expert panel that we trust.' Let's see if there is any baby or not." 

5. Jerry Springer "Quite frankly, I found it mostly interesting in a Jerry Springer kind of way. White trash battling it out in public, throwing chairs at each other. SCO crying about IBM's other women. ... Fairly entertaining"

4. Stealing Cars In Bright Daylight "Do you steal a car in the bright daylight with a lot of people around? Or do you steal a car, go for a joyride at 4 am in the morning when there aren't a lot of people around. With open source, there is a lot of daylight. A lot of people looking at the code. You don't really go around and steal things."

3. Constitution and Marriage "If Darl McBride was in charge, he'd probably make marriage unconstitutional too, since clearly it de-emphasizes the commercial nature of normal human interaction, and probably is a major impediment to the commercial growth of prostitution"

2. Smoking "They are smoking crack." 

And number one, according to Mack...

1. Please Grow Up "we find your references to a negotiating table somewhat confusing, since there doesn't seem to be anything to negotiate about. SCO has yet to show any infringing IP in the Open Source domain, but we wait with bated breath for when you will actually care to inform us about what you are blathering about."

[Salo]

I liked the one better where he thanked SCO for their contributions.

[Salo]

Ping.

[Salo]

Actually, number 1 left out the best part:

"All of our source code is out in the open, and we welcome you point to any particular piece you might disagree with.

Until then, please accept our gratitude for your submission,

Yours truly,

Linus Torvalds

[Tribune7]

ping

[angkor]

"...since clearly it de-emphasizes the commercial nature of normal human interaction, [marriage] is a major impediment to the commercial growth of prostitution"

Priceless.

[Bush2000]

Honestly, all of this Linus worship is really a bit over-the-top. He can't take a dump without all of you guys bronzing it...

[familyop]

"Honestly, all of this Linus worship is really a bit over-the-top. He can't take a dump without all of you guys bronzing it..."

This is true, but I guess it's better than worshipping Bill Gates, the "Democrat with a small _D_," and his brothel in the Northwest.

One could also run a BSD system, which is more stable and secure.

[Bush2000]

This is true, but I guess it's better than worshipping Bill Gates, the "Democrat with a small _D_," and his brothel in the Northwest.

Perhaps you would be kind enough to provide a link to a recent thread where Gates's opinion is the focal point, then.

[The Duke]

Honestly, all of this Linus worship is really a bit over-the-top. He can't take a dump without all of you guys bronzing it...

Linus takes dumps?

[Richard Kimball]

Oh, good grief. Come on. You're an intelligent guy, but you're about as unbiased as Jesse Jackson. I don't think I've ever seen a post by you that wasn't puffing MS or bashing another system. I think you're an MS employee assigned to post positive stuff about MS on message boards as part of your daily duties.

[Bush2000]

See post #8. Do I post crap about Gates? No, I don't.

[familyop]

"Perhaps you would be kind enough to provide a link to a recent thread where Gates's opinion is the focal point, then."

Oh--you mean Gates' libertine Democrat standing. It's more relevant than the topic of Linus' bowel movements.

Wild, abstract, insulting rhetoric against Linux developers and users (of which I am not) is almost always launched by MS users.

I like competition. Any developer can sell his own software that will run on certain open, free systems. Developers have a right to build systems and do as they please with the fruits of their labor. This includes making those systems available to all developers who want to make and sell software that will run on those systems instead of being slaves to a small group that owns one operating system. We don't owe fantastic fortunes to a handful of rich boys who say that they own all computers and/or software that is built by thousands of hard working, intelligent programmers from their own homes. I'm in favor of small business and free trade--not trade that is locked up in legalistic schemes perpetuated by a few who want to make sure that only one, inferior product is available to consumers and businesses.

And for our national security, our military should not have one MS system in it. New worms are pouring into MS systems every year--worms written by punks with MS boxes. Huge MS networks with firewalls and all the gimmicks pushed by the sales world were broken and infiltrated over the past year. ...best to give those contracts to Unix open systems developers and to upgrade often, IMO.

[Bush2000]

Oh--you mean Gates' libertine Democrat standing. It's more relevant than the topic of Linus' bowel movements. Wild, abstract, insulting rhetoric against Linux developers and users (of which I am not) is almost always launched by MS users...

Again, refer to me a recent article posted on FR that highlights Gates's thoughts on technology . I'll wait.

[Nick Danger]

Linus takes dumps?

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!

[Tribune7]

Linus takes dumps?

Say it's not so. Please, say it's not so.

[rdb3]

The Penguin Ping.

Wanna be Penguified? Just holla!

Got root?

[dread78645]

Linus takes dumps?

Probably.
But bronzing it makes it really tough to restore(8).

[Liberal Classic]

Again, refer to me a recent article posted on FR that highlights Gates's thoughts on technology . I'll wait.

This one comes to mind: Microsoft unveils new CD copy protection. It's a post by you from earlier this year and talks about Palladium, now called Next-Generation Secure Computing Base for Windows.

[TechJunkYard]

Honestly, all of this Linus worship is really a bit over-the-top.

Aw, quit your whining. Linus' comments are relevant because it's his creation that's being batted around in this proxy war. People want to know what he thinks about the case.

If someone were trying to wrest control of Windows from Microsoft, I'm sure you'd back the right of the MS honchos to make personal comments.

[Golden Eagle]

This is Torvalds most telling and relevant comment, IMO:

I do not look up any patents on _principle_, because (a) it's a horrible waste of time and (b) I don't want to know. The fact is, technical people are better off not looking at patents. If you don't know what they cover and where they are, you won't be knowingly infringing on them. If somebody sues you, you change the algorithm or you just hire a hit-man to whack the stupid git.

Linus

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