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Remember the words of Johnnie Cochran

Thankfully you went with the black juror quote. I thought you were going to twist the "If the doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

Dang html tags! That should be "If the (insert adult object here) doesn't fit you must acquit"

Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, you must now decide whether or not to reverse the decision for my client, Chef.

[next to a display stand]

I know he seeems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen, this… is Chewbacca.

Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider:

(pulling down a diagram)

This is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense!

Why would a Wookiee—an eight foot tall Wookiee—want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!

But more importantly, you have to ask yourself:

What does that have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!

Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.

And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation—does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.

If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

[pulls down a picture of him]

Now think about that for one minute:

That does NOT MAKE SENSE! Why am I talkin' about Chewbacca when a man's life is on the line?

[Chef looks at the picture]

Why? I tell you why. I don't know.

It doesn't make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit!

[produces a monkey]

Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey.

[a juror chokes, then his head explodes]