"Times are hard"
"Our cash is tight"
"You've got no right"
I've heard it all before
"Just this once"
Is once too much
Cause once they've onced
They'll want to once once more
I run the only toilet
In this part of town, you see
So, if you've got to go
You've got to go through me
It's a privilege to pee
Water's worth its weight
In gold these days
No more bathrooms
Like in olden days
You come here and pay a fee
For the privilege to pee
Twenty years we've had the drought
And our reservoirs have all dried up
I take my baths now in a coffee cup
I boil what's left of it for tea
And it's a privilege to pee
The politicians in their wisdom saw
That there should be a law
The politicians taxed the toilets
And made illegal
Public urination and defecation
So, come and give your coins to me
Write your name here in the record book
The authorities will want to look
If you've been regular with me
If you've paid the proper fee
For the privilege to pee
You think you've got
Some kind of right?
You think you'll come in here and go for free?
The only thing you'll get it "no" for free!
I'm a business gal, you see
I sell the
Privilege to pee!
The good Lord made us
So we'd piss each day
Until we piss away
The good Lord made sure
That what goes in men
Must soon come out again
So you're no different then
From lowly me
And I think I'll charge you twice
Or better yet, have you arrested
Since you prefer the law gets tested
And in Urinetown you'll see
Why it's dumb to fight with me
For the privilege to pee!
FOR Al Gore, a politician so famously interested in both the environment and technology, the offer to serve on the advisory board of Falcon Waterfree Technologies must have been hard to resist.
"He is very concerned about the world water situation and the crisis that the U.N. is predicting — that by 2026, the world demand for water will outstrip the world's supply by 56 percent," said James Krug, president of the company's international division.
And so he signed on to be a rainmaker, so to speak, for Falcon's marquee project — the waterless urinal.
Mr. Krug said Mr. Gore was urged to join the seven-member board last summer by Marc Nathanson, a lead investor and a Clinton appointee to the Broadcasting Board of Governors. Mr. Krug said Mr. Gore, who is not being paid but receives stock options, had so far "encouraged us to be very active politically to get our message out there, because it's such a compelling technology."
(The technology involves recyclable cartridges and biodegradable sealants, but enough of the dirty details.)
Mr. Gore is no stranger to corporate boardrooms. He and his business partner, Joel Hyatt, a co-founder of Hyatt Legal Services, are developing a cable news channel. Mr. Gore also serves on the board of directors of Apple Computer Inc. and is an adviser to Google Inc.
Waterless urinals are already at Disney World and the Taj Mahal, as well as in numerous federal government buildings, on military bases and throughout the postal service. No word yet on when the White House might remodel its bathrooms.
Which character should Algore play in the touring production of Urinetown:
Caldwell P. Cladwell, the evil magnate exploiting the water shortage for ill-gain?
Officer Lockstock, the brutal policeman enforcing the pay-to-pee urine laws?
Penelope Pennywise, the brassy, gutsy pee-token matron of Amenity #9, the filthiest urinal in town?
Hope Cladwell, the naive daughter who just wants to do what's right, caught in the middle of the issue?
Bobby Strong, the innocent boy protesting pay-to-pee-fees for the poor masses?
What the oceans are drying up?
I thought global warming would melt all the ice and we would have more water than we could use? Hasn't his guy ever heard of desalinization plants?
If you drive a car, I'll tax the street
and if you try to walk, I'll tax your feet...
Let Algore pee in a catbox. Clinton-Gore already gave us laws mandating inefficient low-flow toilets (suckers that must be flushed 3 times to do their duty).
Funny how those who want "government out of the bedroom" invite Uncle Sam into the bathroom with them.