Ayatollah Khomenini’s grandson is to ride on next Space Shuttle Mission.

Weekly World News ^ | 11/15/2003 | Prospero, Duke of Milan (Deposed)

[BioForce1]

Today NASA director Frank Borman has announced that the next shuttle mission is going to include the grandson of the late Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomenini, Hossein Khomeini, as a crewmember on the next Space Shuttle Launch.

“We have decided to use the space shuttle as a diplomatic tool.  There is limited amount of science to be done on the next few space shuttle missions so we have decided to use the space shuttle to shoot Islamic Clerics into outer space for a few days.”

When asked of the motivation for the idea, NASA director Frank Borman responded that he got the idea from watching Disney’s The Sword in the Stone.  “In the Story Merlin turns himself and young King Arthur in a falcon and they go flying together for a day.  This is the scene where the young king gets the idea that the Island of Britain should become a unified country with a single king.  It took over 1000 years for King Arthur’s political vision to become a reality, but it is a proven tactic.” 

Frank Borman say’s that he sees the utility of shooting other Ayatollahs, Imams, and various eastern religious clerics into space on a regular basis.  “The first thing we are trying to impress on these people is that the USA has god like powers.  There is nothing like a ride on the space shuttle and a visit to the space station to convince them of that.  We don’t plan on leaving them in space very long at the moment, they get a glass of tang and then they have to go back on the next shuttle.  But we can expand the program further if we get more funding for congress.  Once the clerics get back to Earth they can go back to where they came from and say anything they want about the experience.”

 

 

[BioForce1]

This is the kind of forward thinking that we need from NASA.

[snopercod]

WTF???? This is from The Onion, right?

[AdamSelene235]

Well, okay, but no box cutters allowed on board.

[niteowl77]

It must be hard to think up goofy stuff when reality provides far worse ideas on a daily basis.

[kitkat]

*** This is the scene where the young king gets the idea that the Island of Britain should become a unified country with a single king.***

This is the part that scares me. Are we talking one world here? What the heck is NASA up to?

[snopercod]

Gonna' have to install shoe sensors on the 195' level at Pad-A.

[The Great RJ]

How about we include several members of Congress--Daschle and Hillary for instance--perhaps for a trans-lunar trip.

[Semper911]

WTF???? This is from The Onion, right?

No, the Weekly World News. This is on their front page this week:

[aomagrat]

WTF???? This is from The Onion, right?

Weekly World News. You know, the paper that the "Men in Black" use to fine aliens.

[kitkat]

Is that right, Semper? Thank God. I fell for it. My excuse? I never heard of the Weekly World News. Maybe my supermarket doesn't stock it in the checkout lanes. That and...I'm a blonde you know.

[Semper911]

Or maybe you saw this recent issue in the check-out line:

[Semper911]

Heh heh... follow the link at the top of the post to their homepage. It's a hoot!

[tubebender]

If it includes Osama Ben Hidden and Sadman Hesinsane then we know that NASA hasn't solved the problem...

[snopercod]

The scary thing is, this is exactly the kind of cheap publicity stunt that NASA is known for.

Let's see, we had Barfin' Jake Garn, Bill "insurance commissioner in space" Nelson, token "astronauts" from every third-world country on earth, and of course John Glenn II.

So I could believe it.

[Doctor Raoul]

"Weekly World" is the one that still has a Black & White front page and still looks and feels like the supermarket tabloids in the 60s, i.e., "Two Headed Baby Bites Imelda Marcos" headlines.

[Dec31,1999]

But we can expand the program further if we get more funding for congress.

More funding for congress...hmmm..

[joesnuffy]

what NASA has always been 'up' to ....

[FreedomCalls]

You never heard of the Weekly World News?

Well, you can't mention the Weekly World News without including an obligatory Bat Boy photo!

[js1138]

I like "Cheating Wife's Head Explodes".

[M Kehoe]

Frank Borman say’s that he sees the utility of shooting other Ayatollahs, Imams,...

I see the utility of that too. Oh, my mistake...it was shoot "into space."

5.56mm