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I'm so sorry about your cousin. I lost my cousin in April, he died from an overdose of prescription pills. He was so depressed and confused about his choices in life that he fell apart over the years.
At one time in his life he was a church going Christian who loved the Lord with all his heart and soul. He got into the homosexual lifestyle and stayed there. He wanted out, but it kept calling him, he wanted a wife and kids so bad, but, his freak friends down in Hollywood became the center of his life and soon God was no longer the love of his life nor his dreams of a family.
My cousin would take drugs such as Ativan to numb himself from the pain he was in. He knew that his lifestyle was wrong, but kept going back for more. I talked with him on many occasions, and the stories he would confide in me were so unbelievable, that if it wasn't my cousin telling me I would never believe them. He told me lots of the things he was involved with with his "friends" down in Hollywood and it was pretty scary. This lifestyle isn't just about a guy loving a guy or a woman loving another woman. This lifestyle is sick!! The things these guys would do to my cousin and my cousin would do to them were sick!!
No one will ever convince me that this isn't a destructive lifestyle.
My wife and I also lost a friend to AIDS, and it was probably one of the saddest things to watch as he withered away to nothing!