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New Chemical Element?
Unknown ^ | 11-12-2003 | unknown

Posted on 11/12/2003 5:52:59 AM PST by Tactical

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium."

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it.

Elemental, when you come to think about it.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: governmentium
I think there's been an update to this report, an additional element has been discovered that has been named, "Democratium". Easily identified by a flurry of activity around the central corp, with the main corp taking from the masses around it and trying to distribute it elsewhere. Researchers noted that Democratium doesn't seem too successful at this redistribution process, but does exceedingly well at taking from the masses that surround it.
1 posted on 11/12/2003 5:52:59 AM PST by Tactical
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To: Tactical
LOL!
2 posted on 11/12/2003 5:56:49 AM PST by leadpencil1
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To: Tactical
Oldie-but-goody-deserves-to-be-posted-everyday bump.
Democratium is a nice addition.
3 posted on 11/12/2003 6:00:21 AM PST by talleyman (E=mc2 (before taxes))
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To: Tactical
heheh
Aint seen that one in a while. last time I saw it they called it "administratium" lol
4 posted on 11/12/2003 6:02:55 AM PST by tomakaze (Todays "useful idiot" is tomorrows "useless eater")
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To: Tactical
Too bad that this is super heavy and also super stable, resisting any changes at all to it's structure.

Hey, it you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
5 posted on 11/12/2003 6:07:13 AM PST by Eagle Eye (I'm a RINO. I'm far too conservative to be a real Republican.)
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To: Tactical
Democratium

In it's rarely stable form, it has a very high entropy. In all known thermodynamic cycles, it is a very poor working fluid, which generates a lot of heat, but the availability is such that very little work is realized.

6 posted on 11/12/2003 11:02:37 PM PST by Rockitz (After all these years, it's still rocket science.)
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Periodic Table of Rejected Elements

7 posted on 12/15/2005 10:29:53 AM PST by SunkenCiv ("In silence, and at night, the Conscience feels that life should soar to nobler ends than Power.")
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