Oh, dear. Jenny, jenny, jenny - if you only knew. I wish I could help, but I can't really offer you any tips on how to spot whether or not you're in the hands of the "wingman" - if he's a truly accomplished wingman, the first tip-off will be three days later, when he doesn't call like he said he would. But by then, he doesn't care, because it's game-over and mission accomplished!
For some reason, women are conditioned to think of themselves as the sly, manipulative ones - in the face of that, men haven't had much choice but to evolve certain instinctive tactics ;)