[paulklenk]

"Whoopie was the nasty one,"
said tenth-grader Michael Jones.
"The others just led a degenerate lifestyle,
But Whoopie was bad to his bones."

"Whoopie was the nasty one,"
The other tenth-graders cried.
"We practiced sodomy, risking our lives,
But Whoopie was guilty of pride."

"Whoopie was the nasty one,"
That's what the principal said.
"The other kids flirted with all of the teachers,
But Whoopie wanted me dead."

"Whoopie was the nasty one,"
Said superintendent Syd.
"The regular homosexuals were innocent.
Not like that transgender kid."

"We never went hooking without our rubbers,
We paid for our drinks like the other gay clubbers,
We peed on the lesbian, then we'd scrub her,
But Whoopie was the nasty one, the nasty one, the nasty one.
Whoopie was the nastiest of all."

[drlevy88]

"Whoopie was the nasty one," Jones said.

The Onion couldn't write something this zany.