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I think the issue these days (from cases I have handled and seen) is the bigger better deal. Women especially view divorce as a means of "cashing out" a marriage. Not unlike a whole life insurance policy. Adultery, in ALL its forms, MUST be penalized. It should be used to determine custody and visitation.

The biggest problem is that young couples have zero/zip/nada when it comes to proper marriage role models. In fact any positive models are ridiculed and despised. Any traditional roles of husband and wife are derided. God forbid a husband or wife turn down some extramarital recreational sex.

Adultery, in ALL its forms, MUST be penalized. It should be used to determine custody and visitation.

There's a tension between wanting to minimize the number of divorces and wanting to allow divorces because of the least infidelity. If you wnt to set the bar high for divorce, that means excluding some of the minor infidelities like phone sex or masturbation. Should a family be ruined because a wife catches her husband with his hand on his secretary's bosom? Let the couple figure out how to punish each other for those minor foibles and reserve court-sanctioned divorce for the major cases of adultery.