Posted on 10/27/2003 1:42:51 PM PST by Pokey78
SOMETHING in our national spirit recoils at the prospect of Halloween and all this hideous event stands for.
The belligerent begging; the spiteful, petty vandalism; the intrusion of leering strangers banging on your front door when your own granny wouldn't dream of turning up unannounced.
The British like to bitch about American imports like Starbucks and McDonald's, but at least these places serve a useful purpose. What use is Halloween?
This shabby American ritual is an excuse for institutionalised begging from hairy-armed thugs who can hardly be bothered to remove their hooded tops, let alone take the trouble of donning fancy dress.
And at least real beggars accept the possibility of refusal. The cretins who come calling on Friday will not take no (or a boiled sweet) for an answer.
The British can't do Halloween. In America there are no acts of bullying and vandalism on Halloween because Americans have got guns. You chuck an egg at someone's front door in Detroit or Dallas and you are taking your miserable life in your hands.
In America, Halloween is for the little ones. It's just like ET - all the little tiddlers dressed up as ghouls and ghosties, and smiling adults pretending to be afraid.
In Britain, the little ones rule the streets for about 15 minutes and then make way for the acne-pocked mob.
The irony is that we have ditched a genuinely British festival because it was deemed too dangerous for our squeaky-clean, safety-conscious age.
Like millions of other Brits, I grew up with the whiff of gunpowder in my nostrils. The thwarting of Guy Fawkes is what we should be celebrating at this time of year.
Sparklers, rockets, bangers, Catherine wheels and jumping jacks - this is our culture, not some hooded youth banging on the door of some cowering pensioner.
Guy Fawkes has slipped out of fashion, just as Halloween has become accepted and celebrated.
There are even attempts to depict Halloween as a genuine pagan tradition, dating back many centuries.
Yeah, right. In its current incarnation, Halloween dates back about as far as Simon Le Bon's love handles. Halloween is an 80s invention from across the Atlantic, just like coffee shops and herpes. And it sucks.
Last year in Dorset - Dorset! - the police were called to investigate more than a hundred Halloween-related crimes, including criminal damage, arson and threatening behaviour.
On Merseyside, 50 of Knowsley's leading yobbos are being taken to Alton Towers for a day out in the vain hope that they will be knackered by the time night falls on Friday.
What a fine way to tackle anti-social behaviour - take the little b******s to a theme park.
The government talks a lot about tackling yob culture and then does nothing at all to stem a night that promotes and encourages the worst kind of boorish behaviour. Indeed, it is tempting to see Halloween as another New Labour product.
It has all the symptoms - the craven acceptance of a lousy American idea, the casual disregard for the safety and happiness of the ordinary citizen.
And the preference for a bit of foreign rubbish over something that has served this country well for countless years.
Sooner or later someone is going to get seriously hurt. When the question is "trick or treat" will the answer one day be a bucket of cat's urine?
The plague of burglary eventually produced Tony Martin, the householder who refused to take any more. How long before Halloween produces its own Tony Martin? How long before some hooded moron goes a little too far, or some harassed householder strikes back?
And then they will all be on our TV screens, the concerned politicians, the grim-faced Old Bill, the weepy relatives. But by then it will be too late.
Give me the good old days of November 5. Give me a banger in my Wellington boot and a sparkler up my tank top and a sky full of fire. Halloween is far too dangerous for me.
Trick or treat? Just try buying off the ponces with a Werther's Original and see what happens.
My very first memory was of Guy Fawkes day. I was two years old, living on a farm, and the loud amateur fireworks of a village block party made a deep impression on me. So that's gone now, in favor of hiding indoors while Halloween vandals rule the streets?
Yeah, right. In its current incarnation, Halloween dates back about as far as Simon Le Bon's love handles. Halloween is an 80s invention from across the Atlantic, just like coffee shops and herpes. And it sucks.
I see no way to interpret "current incarnation" in any way except, that trick or treating does not date before the 1980s, and he certainly did not SPECIFY in the UK only.
Buh-bye.
By George, he's got it!
Force?
Publisher's print run on latest Di book for UK market 200,000
Publisher's print run on same book for US market 1,000,000
That's gobbling with enthusisam.
The Brits would never contemplate buying 200,000 copies of Hillary!s memories.
Here are some clues:
He's writing in the Daily Mirror!I'll stand by my assertion that you have to be pretty stupid not to realize that he is talking about GREAT BRITAIN in this article.The headline uses two examples of British slang.
The 3rd paragraph specifically mentions Britain.
The 4th paragraph sneers at it as an "American" ritual.
The 6th paragraph contrasts the way it is done in America as opposed to Britain.
In the 7th paragraph he says that Halloween in America is mostly for toddlers.
As opposed to the 8th paragraph where he complains about how in Britain it is like the headline says it is.
The 9th paragraph tells about ditching an old British celebration (Guy Fawkes Day) in favor of the American import.
The 10th paragraph refers to "millions of Brits'" celebrations.
The 11th and 12th paragraphs continue to talk about Guy Fawkes Day, a day unknown in America.
The 14th paragraph talks about Halloween being a import from "across the Atlantic."
The 15th paragraph talks about crime in two places in England and refers to a British theme park.
The 17th talks about the British Labour Party (spelled as in Britain).
The 18th and 19th paragraphs refer to Halloween as American and "foreign."
The 21st paragraph refers to the British Tony Martin who was prosecuted when his home was invaded and he shot one of the burglars.
The 22nd paragraph uses British slang to refer to the police as "the Old Bill" a term not used in America.
The last two paragraphs refer to again Guy Fawkes day and use more slang and references unknown in America.
Do NOT , under any circumstances , reply to me, on this or any thread. I have zero interest in communicated with illmannered posters who flout the stated rules of this forum.
Do you remember it as elaborate as it is? When I was a kid, it was about carving a jack-o-lantern, going out trick-or-treating for a small amount of candy, and then coming back home and watching monster movies on TV. And that was about the extent of it. I went overseas for a few years, and when I got back I was astounded to see the huge holiday it had grown into. Now the stores fill with Halloween decorations for weeks on end before Halloween. In my day, you had to find a Spencer's Gifts if you wanted something other than a plastic halloween mask. It is now one of the three of four largest holiday retail events of the year.
Maybe, but we, the U.S., commercialized it. Just like we commercialized Christmas, and everything else. Just like we invented Mother's Day and Father's Day so we could sell more greeting cards, and turned Washington's Birthday into an excuse for President's Day Mattress Sales (and VCR sales, and auto sales, and wall-to-wall carpet madess sales...).
I always thought "yobbos" was another name for hooters, in which case I'd rather they hang around for a bit.
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