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At my husband's grandmother's highly-rated expensive nursing home, they were taking her dentures out every night (at least they remembered that) and dropping them in a glass of water every night. The same glass of water. One day her daughter was visiting and trying to track down the bad smell in her room. It was that glass of water. Turns out that Grandma Ruth had a HORRIBLE mouth and throat infection from the fact that her teeth were being put in every day without being cleaned--only soaked in filthy, unchanged water. It was horrible. And this was a GOOD nursing home.

How horrible. I understand completely.

I never know what problem I will face or have to handle when I go visit. I've learned to keep my own records of her medications, to question, to complain. I've been told many times to complain. I do but I hate it.

My mother cried a lot and she didn't know why. I mentioned I wanted the doctor to check on giving her antidepressants when he visited. Then it turned out the psychiatrist was there and I talked to her. She advised she would check her.

Well, she got them. When the doctor visited on Thursday, he prescribed an antidepressant. The psychiatrist prescribed one on Friday. Unfortunately, the page in the chart was full on Thursday so the page turned and Friday the chart had a new page. Doctor No. 2 did not check on the prior page to see that an antidepressant had already been prescribed. She prescribed another.

The nurses gave her the medications prescribed never questioning the orders. My mother was literally out of her mind for three days. She told off the doctor, refused any food or water, was off the wall - there were six medical people in there at one time trying to help her and half of them had tears in their eyes.

They continually reassured me that she would not be harmed just had to flush the medications out of her system but she would not take fluids. The doctor finally threatened her that she was going to the hospital that afternoon if she did not drink. This same doctor when questioned in the hall, got irate at ME and said it was my responsibility to question and complain about her care.

I even called in the family from out of town feeling like she was in really bad shape. After they got there that night, she pulled out of it and you would never know she had been that bad that afternoon.

Now, how often would something like that happen? Each week, each shift is a new world.