[TheBigB]

Heh heh. Wine and orgasms. Never fails. :) I look forward to the day we re-elect Bush and Morford is completely driven around the bend and reduced to a simpering, blubbering mess, with a bottle of wine in one hand and, well, probably himself in the other.

Schadenfreude. Gotta love it.

[ArrogantBustard]

Billy Joel wrote a song just for Miss Morford:

Captain Jack

by Billy Joel


Saturday night and you're still hangin' around
You're tired of livin' in your one horse town
You'd like to find a little hole in the ground
For a while...

So you go to the village in your tie-dye jeans
And you stare at the junkies and the closet queens
It's like some pornographic magazine
And you smile...

But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push 'n' you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah

Your sister's gone out, she's on a date
And you just sit at home and masturbate
Your phone is gonna ring soon, but you just can't wait
For that call...

So you stand on the corner in your new English clothes
And you look so polished from your hair down to your toes
But still your fingers gonna pick your nose
After all...

But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push 'n' you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah

So you decide to take a holiday
You got your tape deck and your brand new Chevrolet
Ah but there's no place to go anyway
And what for...

You've got everything but nothing's cool,
They've just found your father in the swimming pool
And you guess you won't be going back to school
Anymore...

But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push 'n' you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah

So you play your albums and you smoke your pot
And you meet your girlfriend in the parking lot
Oh, but still you're aching for the things you haven't got
What went wrong...

And if you can't understand why your world is so dead
And why you've got to keep in style and feed your head
Well, you're twenty-one and still your mother makes your bed
and that's too long...

But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push 'n' you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah
Yeah, Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Yeah, Captain Jack will get you by tonight