ROFL! Do we have new daytime commercials taped for Tide now?
"Hi, Susan! What's wrong?... Not semen in your panties again? Oh, Susan, haven't you heard of New Tide with DNA-Bleach-Out? Yes, new DNA-Bleach-Out lets you wear your undies with pride again! It removes all semen, hairs, and blood. And mmmmmm, it smells so good! Lilacs in May! Here. Keep my box of New Tide with DNA-Bleach-Out. I haven't had a man in months anyway!"
"And here's a pair of my panties to wear tomorrow just in case this New Tide doesn't work"!