Statement by Michael Schiavo

TBO.com News ^ | October 20, 2003 | Michael Schiavo

[Auntie Mame]

Last Wednesday, my wife's feeding tube was removed. For over 6 years, I have struggled with the Schindlers in court. On Wednesday, I joined them in grief. I understand what the Schindlers are going through at this time. I feel the same loss.

For years after this happened to Terri, I tried desperately to find a cure for her. I went from one doctor to another. Almost all of them told me there was no possibility she would recover. Any doctor that gave me a glimmer of hope that some new treatment or therapy would work was given free reign with Terri. I would do anything to make her well.

I took Terri to California. I stayed with her while doctors performed an experimental procedure to implant electrodes in her brain to stimulate its function. I spent months working with her - hopeful of a cure. Months later, the doctors told me the electrodes were not working.

I took Terri to Mediplex, in Bradenton, Florida, which is a residential rehabilitation facility that specializes in brain injuries. She spent months there in intensive physical, speech, and occupational therapy and testing.

Finally, the doctors and therapist told me and the Schindlers they could do nothing more for her. I hired a private duty aide 8 hours a day to take Terri on outings to parks and museums trying to stimulate her - looking for any sign of life, any flicker of hope. There was none - ever.

Over the years, I had three swallowing tests performed on Terri in the hope that some of the therapies would allow her to be weaned off the feeding tube. The test all showed no change, and I was advised she could not swallow food. Even now, the nursing home staff says that sometimes Terri gags and chokes on the moisture from the swabs they use to moisten her lips.

The reports you heard from nursing home aides that Terri was responsive years ago are not true. I would give anything if they were. Those aides cared for Terri during the time that I was desperately seeking a cure for her. I was so frustrated that I could not help Terri. I am sure that I was sometimes unkind to the aides - even shouted at them. This was not because I wanted Terri dead, but because I desperately wanted her alive. I blamed myself because I could not bring her back.

It seemed to me, during that time, that the aides never did enough for Terri. Some days they did not put her makeup on. I would storm into the nursing home insisting that they do so. I knew Terri always wanted to look her best. Sometimes, the aides did not get her dressed and sitting up until late in the morning. They did not always get her hair combed. They sometimes failed to give her vitamins and medications on time. At each of those failures, I became enraged and lashed out. I felt so helpless. Each small infraction reminded me how powerless I was to really help Terri. I admit that I yelled at the aides and I am now deeply sorry for that behavior. Much like the Schindlers now, I stubbornly resisted and suggestion that Terri was in a persistent vegetative state and would never get better.

I never wanted Terri to die. I still don't. After more than seven years of desperately searching for a cure for Terri, the death of my own mother helped me realize that I was fooling myself. More important, I was hiding behind my hope, and selfishly ignoring Terri's wishes. I wanted my wife to be with me so much that I denied her true condition.

Terri told me on several occasions before this happened that she would not want to live in her current condition. If we had been older, I am sure she would have signed a living will making it clear that she did not to be kept alive on tubes and machines. She never had the chance.

That left me to carry out her wishes. It has been hard. In fact, it is the hardest thing I have ever done. In the end, I did what I believe Terri would have wanted me to do.

Some people do not agree with the decisions the court made to remove Terri's feeding tube. I struggle to accept it myself. But I know in my heart that it is right, and it is what Terri wants. There is no longer any realistic hope of Terri's recovery. Perhaps there never was, but I had to try - just as the Schindlers have tried. The reality is that Terri left us 13 years ago, and none of us can bring her back.

Terri's parents and family may visit with her as much as they choose in the days to come. I, and my friends and relatives, will be there as well to spend time with Terri, as we all grieve. Please pray for us all.

[yesnettv]

I am in California
and don't get up until about 11am East Coast Time
because of my own medical challenges I am working on
Pain

[yesnettv]

Cucumbers are cute - let's call everyone cucumbers so that noone is offended.

[yesnettv]

yes, before the feeding and hydration tube was removed. She has been doing that for years. Ask her former caregivers and her priest.

[f.Christian]

He's from the pit of hell. If the struggle was so hard for him he should have given the money awards to her parents, divorced Terri a long time ago, and given her over to the Schindler's care like they wanted.

Definitely ... LET GO --- Let God (( LOVE -miracles )) !

[yesnettv]

Back what up?
Am beat and may have missed something

[bonfire]

I read there was a videotape distributed of that moment. Supposedly it was given to various tv stations. I'm not sure I believe it, as that tape hasn't seemed to surface.

[bonfire]

I was working all day so I didn't get to hear any coverage. I was going crazy not knowing what was happening!

[deannadurbin]

I never heard that. Her father was with her at the time in the room. Why would he have a videotape rolling? He didn't expect her to try and get up but she did.

[Qwinn]

The part about how she used to answer yes/no questions. Never heard that before.

Qwinn

[bonfire]

It was posted days ago and I have been searching for evidence of that video ever since.

[yesnettv]

That tape is out there.
Posted lots of places on freerepublic

[bonfire]

It is? If you can point me to it, I would be most grateful.

[Aracelis]

BULL BUTTER!

Yup, 'bout what I was thinking...only yours is a bit more polite.

[yesnettv]

If you were expecting her to be killed, wouldn't you video every moment you could so you could remember her?
My dad died when I was a kid. Prior to his death family occasions were done with home movies. I now have them on CD so I can see my mom, dad, grandparents, cousins, many deceased people.

Give me a break!

[yesnettv]

Some stuff is at the family website
www.terrisfight.org
I don't know if the 1 year old video is there
The video from the last fall court case is there tho

[Aracelis]

This entire situation so perfectly illustrates the perversity of man. This woman is dead. Her soul has already left her body. And yet the ghouls here slander this poor man who has had to suffer through this hell for all these years. I'd like to see them stay married to a vegetable for a decade.

Are you back again? When are you going to have your FR name changed...? It seems ill-suited to you in light of the above screed.

[yesnettv]

Well guys,
I am off to bed, and need to deal with my own exercise health issues so I do not wake up in excruciating pain.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being involved in Terri's Blood Family's fight for her life. I think I am now her Blood Family.
A moment of silence for Terri.......

[yesnettv]

I gotta dig to find it. In a court affadavit somewhere. Not a secret.
Will find it for you in the am.
Am beat and in pain. Gotta turn in. Not avoiding your request.

[deannadurbin]

>>If you were expecting her to be killed, wouldn't you video every moment you could so you could remember her?

The videos they did get were surreptiously performed. Officially they weren't allowed to videotape her.

When she tried to get out of her chair her father was holding the phone to her ear. So you think he was videotaping her in one hand and holding the phone with the other?

Hmmm....

There are lots of other videos on her website, but I've never seen one of her trying to get out of her chair. If you find it, let me know.

[supercat]

Felos is not a criminal defense attorney. With his ego, he would probably step in.

I don't think so, since he'd be named as co-conspirator.

And if an audit of Terri's trust fund's books shows what I think it would, Judge Greer perhaps as well. I know judges hate to question each other, but in this case they might decide to go after him so as to preserve the notion that they police their own.