Posted on 10/19/2003 8:02:08 AM PDT by Chi-townChief
I'm writing this letter in protest of the Bush administration.
No, not for the reasons normally stated by the Bush-hating clique who spew forth their venom every Thursday and Sunday in this very section of newsprint.
I'm writing as a member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy (South Suburban Chapter) that, having failed in our attempts to hijack the presidency of Bill Clinton through our cunning plants of female agents within groping distance of the president, stole the 2000 election so we could go about our work of stifling dissent and fighting wars for oil. Unfortunately, our peeps in the White House aren't following through with the game plan.
First of all, we did all this hard work getting the right justices on the Supreme Court, those who would be willing sleeper agents waiting to be called into action. We made sure they stayed underground, appearing to undermine the right-wing cause by upholding abortion rights, allowing flag-burning, striking down prayers at football games, etc., just to throw the lefties off track for when we really needed to call on them to install our toady at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
C'mon, you've got to admire our foresight on that one, especially considering the Supreme Court had never before intervened in a Presidential election. But hey, not to brag, but to gain membership in the VRWC you've got to be wicked smart.
Then, we figured we'd use 9/11 as a pretext to end democracy as we know it by passing the Patriot Act, thereby ending all dissent by sending all those pesky liberals to prison. All the newspapers would conform, 1984-like, to the government line and all those criticizing the president would get tossed in the clink. I mean, what's the point of a John Ashcroft, as any liberal will tell you, if not to endanger our civil liberties?
Somewhere, however, the right-wing party train derailed through the lack of stomach shown by our leaders. If this Patriot Act was supposed to stifle dissent, it's doing a pretty poor job. Every time I open The Star, the Chicago Tribune or other similar rags, all I read on the opinion pages are people howling that the Bush administration is trying to end our civil rights through its draconian legal maneuvers.
The irony that they are getting published in major newspapers by making the argument that their voice isn't being heard is lost upon them. Bruce Springsteen makes a point at his concerts to tell his audience that the president should be impeached.
Where's our guy Ashcroft while all this is going on? According to the progressives, the Patriot Act gives the Attorney General the power to send his storm troopers to the letter-writers houses and arrest them right after they get done rounding up all the people at the latest Springsteen gig, but before they arrest virtually every tenured professor in the United States. So far, to my knowledge, this hasn't happened.
To say the least, for my friends and I at the VRWC this has been a disappointing couple of years. I guess it just goes to show, if you want the job done you just have to do it yourself. Therefore, Rush Limbaugh (once we get him out of that whole pill-popping mess), newsroom iconoclast Michael Bowers and myself are going to start making some citizen's arrests pronto.
For all you liberals out there, don't worry — we'll find you. Hey, we're the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy; we have our ways.
CRAIG BERRY Park Forest
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