Posted on 10/17/2003 10:41:11 AM PDT by wheelgunguru
DEARBORN, Mich. - The challenge wasn't getting students to show up for a lecture given by a kissing expert, it was recruiting volunteers to demonstrate for the group.
Of the 200 students who showed up Wednesday to see author Michael Christian speak at the University of Michigan-Dearborn, just five - three men and two women - were willing to lock lips.
Christian implored those jammed into the auditorium: Who else will volunteer?
And then, a nervous 17-year-old from Eastpointe raised her hand, spoke briefly with Christian and filled an empty seat next to the young man without a partner.
The crowd applauded, and the show began.
Over the next hour, Christian, author of the book "The Art of Kissing," walked the volunteers through techniques and variations on 30 kisses, the Detroit Free Press reported in a Thursday story.
One female volunteer performed a kiss so erotic that an audience member jumped up with a freshly written sign that said "10."
Christian delivers his PG-13-rated show full-time to college campuses across the country. The student activities board at the University of Michigan-Dearborn brought him in for an undisclosed fee.
Organizer Tim Trunzo, a senior from Woodhaven, said he fielded a concerned question or two from students about the propriety of the event, but men and women in the crowd Wednesday left smiling.
Most people know the French kiss (the favorite of men and women, Christian said), but he also had his subjects demonstrate the vacuum kiss (suck the breath from your partner), the butterfly kiss (eyelashes fluttering against another's cheek) and the Trobriand Islands kiss, an aggressive liplock involving the teeth, the hair and the eyelashes.
Christian, a slight man with graying hair who said he's engaged, spoke of tongues, braces, electricity, giggles, first kisses, racing hearts, tears, caresses, earlobes and hickeys.
Most of all, Christian said, he was there to promote the beauty and grace of one of humanity's most thrilling gifts.
"If you do it right," he said, "it feels like your souls are merging."
If I could find a girl who involved all three of those in one kiss, she'd be Mrs. BigB inside of 24 hours.
Isn't that special. The guy sounds like a bit of a fruitloop, if you ask me.
Attention parents: this is why your child's college fees seem to increase each year. Colleges and universities seem more concerned with entertaining these minds full of mush than with educating them.
Poor guy, i bet that seemed like an eternity!
What a great waste of teaching time. young people can figure this out on their own.
I think I gotta disagree. there's nothing wrong with providing entertainment at the University. I think it's money well spent.
I went to U-M Dearborn a bunch of years ago, and I was even a member of the Student Government for a couple years - we had, as I remember, about $20,000 a year to spend. That money went a long way to making the university a fun place for everyone. There were maybe 5,000 students, so that came to a whopping $4 per student.
Little things like having bands perform in the cafeteria every Friday during lunch, or guest speakers from all areas make the whole university experience a lot more fun. Don't worry, there's more than enough studying going on there - a little break now and then is good.
Michael Christian is one man who's not afraid to kiss and tell.
Students filled the Courtyard Café Saturday to witness six couples demonstrate the "Art of Kissing" — led by Christian.
The six couples were students from different areas of campus some from the Greek system and a couple from the Xtension Cords, said Melanie Rubin, Illini Union Board area coordinator of progressive programs.
"Some of the guys were a little harder to convince than others," she said.
Christian taught 30 different romantic kisses, what guys and girls enjoy in kissing and addressed how to remove a hickey. The Art of Kissing, Christian's book, written under the pen name of William Kane, has over a quarter-million copies in print.
Christian taught English at Boston College for 14 years before moving on to make a career out of making out.
He said he decided to give lectures on kissing because he simply loves to kiss.
"Maybe when I was growing up I was orally deprived," he said.
The couples onstage enacted different scenarios to use different types of kissing — including the case of the attractive dentist. The men slipped on lab coats to fit the role as the women took on the part of 'patient.' In a situation like this, Christian said to lock lips using the "upside-down kiss," which would be performed with the 'patient,' their head back, facing the 'dentist.'
Other kisses included the "vacuum kiss" — where the air is sucked out of the partner's mouth and "lip-o-suction" — where both partners nibbled on each other's lips in turn.
He then returned to removing hickies, and the bottom line is — you can't.
"A hickey is a bruise, and it has to heal on its own," he said.
He directed some advice at guys, the minority in the almost 200 strong audience: "Trust me, romance is the way to go." (uh with college chicks as easy as they are all the while being as feminist as ever is it any wonder no guys were interested in the romance aspect? besides what guy would attend a conference that screamed "I need help making out?")
For those who didn't have a date to bring to his lecture, Christian suggested ways to practice the different kissing techniques.
"Use a doorknob, a pet or you can practice kissing on your hand," he said jokingly.
But, Christian said, the best way to practice is to use your imagination.
When it comes to kissing, he said, "If it's done right, it's bliss. If it's done wrong, it's potentially life threatening."
Rubin said it seemed like everyone had a great time and Christian's show was fun, as well as educational.
"Everyone can learn a little from him," she said.
Pete Mockaitis, sophomore in business, learned from Christian that women like a kiss on the neck 10 times more than men.
"In addition to taking four pages of notes, (LOSER)it was really entertaining," said Mockaitis. "Christian was part expert, part comedian and I think I may have picked up a few things," he said.
http://www.dailyillini.com/oct03/oct06/news/stories/news_story05.shtml
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