Crossed signals on feelings can become date rape- Seminar at SU helps students figure it out

publicopiniononline.com ^

[chance33_98]

"I didn't really rape that girl," says a young college student.

"Did she say 'stop' or 'no'?" asks the talk show host.

"Well, she shook her head and didn't say anything after that," responds the young man.

The conversation was part of a skit called "Sex Signals" performed recently for students at Shippensburg University. The intent: To teach women how to say "no" to men, and men when they must stop.

[FormerRep]

Most so-called date rapes that I've heard of should be called - "Next Day Guilt Accusations." The girl involved has an after the fact change of heart and then slams the unsuspecting guy right between the eyes with life altering charges. I have no sympathy for rapists - and even less for wolf criers.

[Support Free Republic]

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[MineralMan]

""In order for us to win a girl, a guy has to be aggressive," Murphy said."

Nonsense. "No" is a simple concept. If a girl says "no" or "stop" or "I don't want to do that," then a guy stops. On the next date, the answer might be something else, but when it's "no," that's it.

Guys who don't understand this need some lessons in honoring the wishes of others.

I've been said "no" to a lot in my life. I've been said "yes" to at least as many times. I always like the "yes" better, but always listened to the "no."

In fact, honoring a woman's wish to stop is one of the best ways to "win" her.

[JoJo Gunn]

Perhaps Mary Jo Malone can be their advisor?

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1000346/posts

[Tacis]

She went to the police department and reported that she had been raped last week.

The police sargeant asked, "If you were raped last week, how come you waited until today to report it?"

"Well," she said, "I didn't find out until today that his check had bounced."

[MonroeDNA]

If you sent a survey to single college women, and asked that in the heat of the moment, does "no" always mean "no," I wonder what would the answers look like?

[Bob]

"No" is a simple concept. If a girl says "no" or "stop" or "I don't want to do that," then a guy stops.

Not quite as simple as it sounds.

From the article:
"When she said stop, she started laughing and tickling me, and we started fooling around again," he said.

If this guy's story is to be believed: She says stop. He does. Then she initiates the additional fooling around. If the "stop" was real in the first place, was it cancelled by her reinitiating the fooling around? It certainly sounds like a case of mixed messages on her part.

[MineralMan]

Of course it was mixed messages. Don't you remember that sort of stuff? You fool around, then when you get to a certain stage, she says "stop." She doesn't mean stop completely, just stop going beyond a certain point. You continue to fool around, and she says "stop" again when you pass the comfort zone. Next date, that zone shifts. Eventually, it goes away altogether. The point is that when she says "stop," you stop. Women are human beings, too. They want to have sex, too. But...the risk is higher for them, right? So, it's a process. I'm 58 years old, but I remember my youth and that process. It's very simply. You fool around, with mutual pleasure in the process. If either party calls a halt, you back off. It's very simple. If you respect your partner, you respect your partner. If you don't, then you're a boor. I remember one time being told to stop after intercourse had already started. I stopped. What else would I do?

[ASOC]

Gee, I always thought a right cross to the chops was a good enough signal. But, U R right on, 'back then' it was more of a game....much less so today.

Our daughter took up kick boxing in high school (and was on the rifle team). She never had a problem - go figure.