I love breakfast sandwiches!!!
That's not a sandwich. THIS is a sandwich:
Red Dwarf Ping!LISTER: Do you know what I fancy right now?
RIMMER: A big, fat woman with thighs the size of a hippo’s.
LISTER: No, I want a triple fried egg butty with chili sauce and chutney.
RIMMER: (Managing to sit down in a chair.) Me too.
LISTER: Well no problem then. Nothing’s too good for the deathday boy.
RIMMER: Correct! (Punches air.)
LISTER: Hol, Hol!HOLLY appears on screen with a nightcap on.
LISTER: Hol, give us something to eat.
HOLLY: You what? I’m jiggered man.
LISTER: Oh come on. You don’t sleep.
HOLLY: Course I do. I’ve got to offline. I can’t keep up my full tilt, full power, red hot, maximum pace all the time. I’ve got to take the odd breather, haven’t I?
RIMMER: I want a triple fried egg sandwich with ...
LISTER: With chili sauce and chutney.
HOLLY: You what?
LISTER: It’s a state of the art sarny.
HOLLY: It’s the state of the floor I’m worried about. Alright, OK.RIMMER holds up his hand and the much discussed food item appears in it.
LISTER: Wow, trust me!
RIMMER takes a bite and a succession of expressions are seen on his face. He ends up at something like a mixture of pain, horror and shock. He may be drunk but he’s still got pain receptors.
RIMMER: I feel like I’m having a baby!
LISTER: It’s good innit?
RIMMER: It’s incredible. Where did you get the recipe from?
LISTER: I can’t remember. I think it was a book on bacteriological warfare.
Is that pastrami gracefully draped upon the muffin?
Oh, thanks a lot. Freakin’ midnight and you’ve gone and made me ravenous. Won’t sleep all night, tomorrow’s trashed. Bills won’t get paid, wife’ll throw my ass out on the street; I’ll end up on the dole with free healthcare and housing and counseling and food for free and Obamaphone and job retraining and all the pot I can smoke and eat and suppositorify, and more money for being unemployed than I was making before and on and on and on...I just hope the beef stew at the mission is better than it was the last time. Always gave me the runs before.
Worst is, I won’t get that pastrami cheese scramble sandwich.
Funk you very mulch.