Perhaps she’ll grow a goatee and go teach philosophy at some small liberal arts college. Been done before.
She already has a goatee.
Hey! I bet that school that had the bicycle lock-wielding "teacher" might have such an opening.
After a semester there, then UCB-law would suck her up as a full time prof, teaching one course a year for say, $1M. She needs to out-do Lieawatha.