Oooo, now that was a very odd post you just made. It was very off-putting and creeps me out. But, bless your little-bitty heart — I’m sure you meant well by it!
Oh now I get it, you're just a very lonely little masochist, who is too cheap to spend money on someone to publicly embarrass and insult you, so you come here and attempt to get others to feed your obsessional needs.
Seek help !