Ward Nineteen

Wallace Freedman | 8/28/03 | Wallace Freedman

[MEG33]

Saving it for a relaxed read!

[Elisha]

Be sure and let me know what you think of it- especially if you hate it.

[MEG33]

Will do.I know what I like but am no literary critic!

[Elisha]

I'm sure you'll do fine.

[jokar]

BUMP

[Rhyminsimon]

My Dear Mr Freedman
It is my sadness and woe
That your story stinks
I must let you know.

Dont give up the day job
And sit there and write
In the morning, afternoon
No, not even at night.

You may be a craftsman
At some other art or trade
Your writing is weak,
And better not displayed

Save the bandwidth for
The issues and the posts
That most of us agree are
Ones that matter the most

Take your little story
With you out the door
And please let us hear
From your pen no more

[Elisha]

...your story stinks...

Come on. You're just saying that to be nice. Tell me what you really think.

[Elisha]

Frankly Speaking,

There often come times in human affairs, where we do things or say things, which are not well enough planned or thought out. These words and actions, may be described, as impetuous. Some people are more impetuous than others, and consequently, they often have shoe leather breath. If it weren’t for frequent brushing and mints, my plight would be the same. I am, too often, one of the more impetuous members of the species.

There is much evidence of my impetuosity, on this thread, from beginning to end. I just want you all to know that I recognize that.

After years of thinking, I might want to write something, the most I had achieved was a few halfhearted starts on outlines and first pages. Then recently, I said, “Outline be damned, just write something.” So I knocked out “Ward Nineteen,” not knowing where it was going, just wanting it to end. I spent a couple of days on it, taking out half the flaws and leaving a multitude.

At last, I was able to say, “I wrote a story.” I wanted to rush it out before others, to get the aforementioned feedback. Unfortunately I posted it in this lonely thread where it will sit and waste into oblivion - not to say that I don't recognize and appreciate, the positve comments from most.

We could perhaps, liken the careers of many authors, to the discovery and development of black powder... Some chinese guy was playing with some ingredients, maybe trying to make a better omelette. He probably haphazrdly threw some ingredients in to the pan, the flames licked the pan, and there was a flash in the pan... He probably messed his pants, and then started wondering if he could duplicate the reaction. Undoubtedly, that first guy ended up losing a finger or two, at the least...

Anyway, to cut the rant, I have a little talent. As a writer, I am still in the stage of infancy. With patience, diligence, and clarity of purpose, I may eventually, write something that I do not have to make apology for. I just wanted to let you know, that I know, that you know, but

Don’t cry for me, Argentina,

Wallace Freedman


PS.

For any that might wonder; I make no claims, and have no delusions of mistaking myself for the great and Holy, Elisha. I impetuously chose the name, because I have a great deal of admiration for him, one of the Holiest, and most interesting figures of the Bible. My first choice in this vein, was actually, Elijah.

The story of Elijah gives me a sense of the Might and Power of our God. It gives comfort to ponder that Elijah had actually witnessed so many miracles of God, and, because he was a mere mortal, still came to a point, where he temporarily lost faith in God’s protection, and had a moment of pride, when he assumed that he was the last Holy man left. God still loved him enough to send a chariot, for his trip home.

That gives me great hope, that at the very least, there will be a seat for me, on the last bus.

[Soaring Feather]

Frankly Speaking,

bump to the top! Love the gun powder story! LOL

And keep writing no matter what happens, keep writing.

[Elisha]

Thank you for your kind words, sir. Of course I realized when writing, that it wasn't "gun" powder till later...

[Soaring Feather]

I am female and a poet.

[Elisha]

I would think that the first words for gun powder, was whatever the Chinese translation is for, "OH S**T!"

[Elisha]

I was afearin' that. My apologies. Please link your poetry if you choose. I would love to see it.

[Soaring Feather]

Click the feather!

[Elisha]

Thanks for the link! I had already been there glancing over the page. I was awed by the beauty in the images and the words. Talk about talent - Stand up and take a bow! (or curtsy)

[Elisha]

Furthermore, I must state for the record, that I am awed by all of the enormously talent represented on FreeRepublic.

[Elisha]

oops! -ly

[Victoria Delsoul]

I think you are doing just fine, Elisha. Keep up the good work.

[HiJinx]

Click the Feather, Click the Feather....!!!!!!!!

And know, that you asked for it!

Ms. Feather's poetry is beautiful stuff. I don't always understand it, but I love it anyway!

[HiJinx]

And keep writing no matter what happens, keep writing.

I'm going to echo Ms. Feather's sentiment. You tell a good tale, the possibilities for an expanded novel are there.

I've heard some talk of Tom Clancy's writing style...his manuscripts are tortuous monsters that take no little amount of talent from his editors. At least, that's what I've heard.